I'm SO tired!!! Have been waitressing & working in Marks & Spencers lots. Have tonight & tomorrow night off waitressing though, & don't start at M&S until 11:15 tomorrow - so I can have a proper night's sleep rather than just 3-4 hours, like I've been having when I've been waitressing until 1/2, & have been getting a 6:45 bus to M&S.

My house mate is going to post my phone to me, so I shouldn't be without it for too much longer...I don't like not having my phone - it's a life line, especially when I'm at home.

I've done no uni work yet, cos I have been too tired. I couldn't do reading for my essays if I tried at the moment - staying awake & typing is bad enough!

Feeling better than I did on Friday...but I guess that's not hard! I'm now taking 2 "mood brighteners" a day, but I am feeling better for it. So far, have only had one night off work since I got back on Friday.

On Friday, I was going to pick my little brother & sister up from school, but that didn't happen...I got a train from Exeter to Birmingham New Street, & it took AGES! There were engineering works, so we went via Newport in South WALES!!!

I have a job at Marks & Spencers, it's a really nice place to work. I'm also waitressing & doing bar work in the evenings until next Tuesday. I prefer the day job though!

I have to have glasses. I saw the orthoptist today, & she actually did something constructive...For me, that doesn't happen often; I've been seeing them for 3 years, & they've done something constructive about twice. I'm now shortsighted in both eyes - as opposed to shortsighted in one & long sighted in the other, which partly explains why I've been having so much trouble focussing...Also, the orthoptist has said that I DON'T have double vision!!! I'm pretty sure that she's right...She says it's superimposition of images instead...The problem is that she doesn't know what to do about it. I'm seeing the consultant on January 5th, though, & hopefully I'll be able to sort something out with him!

I haven't got a full day & night that I'm off work until Christmas day!!! I still have 4 essays to write...I will NOT panic though! In my work uniform for M&S, I feel like Simon Cowell - I have STRAIGHT-LEGGED trousers that finish about half way up my ribcage...I refuse to wear my shirt tucked into them!!! I don't want to LOOK like Simon Cowell as well as FEEL like him!!!

I have to work tonight, so I guess I'd better go...Have to do some work, eat, get changed & do my makeup(!!). Some days, I have to do my makeup TWICE(!), since I wear it both for M&S & waitressing - this is very strange for me, since I don't usually wear it at all!

Really don't want to go home.

Ball DJ is being a shit.

Only got one Classics essay done, but my doctor's sending a note, so should be OK...

Didn't get ANY sleep at all last night.

Start work tonight.

Had a letter this morning that made me cry...not in a good way...HCPT group leader doesn't want me to go to Lourdes this year.

Feel shit, so going to stop.

I am SO tired!!! I didn't make my 9:00 this morning. My alarm went off at 7:45, & my body just refused to move. I eventually got up & had a shower at about 9:00, so I did make it to my 10:00...I took 2 "mood brighteners" this morning too. I'm not looking forward to going home, & have been feeling rather more grotty & tearful because of it. I guess that taking 2 pills for a while isn't too bad. If they make me feel better...

I got my 3rd unassessed Theology essay back today - I thought it was awful, but I got 61%, which I'm very proud of!!! I now have to write 2 ASSESSED Classics essays by tomorrow...Not a good thing! I also have to go to the library, & see if there are ANY books that I can use for my fifth essay...I'm not holding my breath over that one.

Last night, CathSoc was cool. Zosh & I made mulled wine...It wasn't tasting very spicy, so we put pumpkin pie spice in it - that did the trick! It was better than the CU mulled wine - for a start, ours actually had alcohol in it, & we used red wine - whatever they used was white - you use RED wine for mulled wine!!!

I've just had my last lectures of term. They weren't too bad. We managed to get Jesus into one of our Hebrew Bible lectures; we didn't know that our lecturer actually knew that Jesus has ever existed!

I'm helping fundraising for HCPT 179 in town this evening - I get to wear my stunning yellow rugby shirt with a huge teddy on the back, & a VERY funky stripy scarf...

Going home tomorrow morning. Really don't want to go. One good thing, though, my 6 year old brother & 3 year old sister don't know that I'm going home, & I'm going to pick them up from school - so that should be quite exciting. Other than that, the idea really doesn't appeal to me at all. I'm going to see my doctor before I go tomorrow, & she'll probably give me enough "mood brighteners" that I can take 2 every day, so hopefully, I'll be OK, & come back in January feeling a bit happier & less tired than I'm feeling now...If I'm really lucky, the Orthoptist/Optometrist/Consultant Opthalmologist will actually do something that HELPS my eyes, & stop me getting major headaches & stuff...Hopefully, they'll also write a letter so I can have extra time in exams, on account of having severely dodgy sight!

Well, I'm sure that if you weren't feeling depressed before you read this, you are now. It's really not very happy stuff, so I'm going to stop now, & go home, write essays, & eat chocolate - sounds good to me!!!

I HATE the library!!!! I've done nearly ALL of the reading for 4 of my 5 essays, & now I want the books for my 5th one...But, are those books in the library? Well, NO! Not even on temporary reserve...Not even on short loan! They're on NORMAL LOAN!!! & so, when are they due back? January 24th!!! When do my essays have to be in? January 16th!!!! I have a PROBLEM!!! ARGH!

Well, now I've got that out of the way, I can talk about the CU carol service, which I went to last night...I like the carols that we sang, but they were just the USUAL - you would have thought they could have been IMAGINATIVE! J.John (I think his name might actually be John John!) was the speaker...He is a good speaker, but when you consider that the CU use this event to try to reach out to non-Christians, it did get to be a bit heavy-going. It started off OK, but it did get into full-on Evangelical stuff, which I'm not sure is a totally great idea.

Oh, and from what he said, you obviously aren't actually a Christian unless you can remember the EXACT day that you "invited" Jesus into your life...For him it was February 9th 1975...Well, I wasn't even alive then (being quite a baby), & I think I've always had Jesus - I don't always acknowledge it, I guess, but I'm sure that Jesus has always been there...I most certainly cannot pinpoint a certain day, or even year where I feel that I "invited" Jesus into my life & felt "the light come on"...Sure, I do feel "the light come on" about certain things even now, but surely that's what life's about - it's one BIG learning process!

Another thing that I didn't agree with was the way that J.John talked about Jesus paying for sin...I'm doing a module in Feminist Theology, you see, & am writing a big essay on atonement theories & how satisfactory they are...Most of them are OK if they're understood properly...I don't think J.John understands them properly - either that or he's gone off & made up his own...I guess if it's his own theory, then he must understand it!

I also wanted one of the packs that they were giving out to people who had "invited" Jesus into their lives for the first time, but I thought that it would just make the CU feel smug if they thought that the CathSoc President was asking for one of their packs, because I don't think that all of them are totally convinced that Catholics have the same God as them, and that we have Jesus, & everything...

Making mulled wine at CathSoc tonight - unlike the CU stuff, it will actually be possible to tell that there is alcohol in ours!!! I was going to make mince pies too, but the CU had LOADS left over, & gave us about 60 for tonight, which was very lovely of them!!!

Although I've had a bit of a rant about the CU carol service, it was pretty good, & they had OVER 4,700 people there, which is QUITE an achievement, so they did do a good job!

I guess I'd better go home now, & actually write some essays...I've done lots of reading for them, but haven't actually started writing any of them yet!!

It was the CathSoc formal last night, & it was GREAT!!! Mad Megs & then Arena!

The food was good, people seemed to get on really well & have a lot of fun, we had lots of wine (thanks to the Chaplaincy) & it was generally just fab!

We had some VERY random conversations - Paul declared that he used to have a LIFESIZE poster of Pamela Anderson!!!! (Well, if he will admit to these things, he will have to expect them to appear on a blog!) We also had fun with the toys from Christmas crackers....Enough said about that, methinks!!

We got Paul & Karen & James presents, cos they're fab & do lots of stuff! Zosh also got me some Winnie the Pooh & Tigger socks, & a cuddly Tigger - I had NO idea at all that she'd done it...I was v embarrassed by it all!!

After Mad Megs, 5 of us went to Arena - Zosh got them to put a message on their big board-things for CathSoc; so exciting!!! We also managed to blag 2 bottles of bubbly stuff!!! So, we didn't have to buy alcohol!

I had to take my shoes off to walk back to the Chaplaincy, cos my feet were so swollen; they were also very dirty by the time we got back!!!

I got to bed at about 2:30 this morning, & managed to get to my 10:00 essay tutorial...There was an empty Red Bull can on the bar this morning - we're wondering who needed it, cos it wasn't Zosh or me...

Another exciting thing that happened yesterday is that I got an email to say that I've been accepted onto TROfS (Teaching Related Opportunities for Students), which is great! Unfortunately, though, they're not going to do Secondary RE, so I have to do something else.

My hand hurts, so I'm going to stop now, & go home!

Well, I haven't blogged for a while, since I was away at the weekend, & spent my time getting rather drunk....It was great fun though. Not sure you'll want to know the details, as it involves pavement pizza, & other such tasteful things!

Have just come back from a Theology ceilidh (is that how it's spelt? I don't know!) - it was SO much fun. I haven't done anything so energetic in AGES! Danced with lots of random people, & lots of non-random people too, & it's great, cos all Theology students are lovely, no one got pissed, & it was just, well, NICE! Theology do so much stuff that's better than other departments! Some of the lecturers were there too; generally, it seems that being good at dancing is a Theology lecturer thing - especially where Rachel & Tim are concerned! We did one really silly dance, where we had to act like ostriches, which was, frankly, just WEIRD!

I ended up not doing campus tours this afternoon; I did take all of the open day people all the way up to the top of Queen's for their interviews, though - I went up the stairs SO many times!!! It was better than spending my afternoon in the library, though!!!

I had a tutorial about my 57% Theology essay, & despite all the negative comments he put on my essay, my lecturer was really nice about it, & says that considering different stuff, I didn't do too badly, but he knows that I can do better than that, & thinks that I wouldn't be giving full credit to my abilities if I only got 57% on the assessed essay - which I'm thinking is quite positive, since it means he obviously thinks I can do well!!!

I've written loads today! I'm sure that means that James can no longer complain that I don't write much! I guess, though, that he'll have something to say as I'm going away for the WHOLE weekend, & won't be able to blog til at least Sunday, maybe even Monday!!!

AH well, James hasn't blogged today, & Paul doesn't blog EVER! So, that means I'm doing better than them!! Hehehe.

Hmm, James said I'm not good at blogging cos I don't write enough, & Paul said that I don't update my blog! Paul doesn't even have a blog, so he's not one to talk!!!

Just done a seminar presentation in Feminism - it went much better than I thought it would!

Doing campus tours for a Theology open day this afternoon.

Tonight, I'm going to the Theology barn dance - they're normally fun!

Tomorrow, I'm going all the way to Nottingham for my friend's hen weekend! We going to have vodka jellies & everything!

Last night, James & Mark brought their gamecube to the Chaplaincy - Monkey Ball is SO much fun.

Zosh & I were going to just sit & mock them, but then they gave us controllly thingies, so we had to play! Got well into it though - I haven't sworn so much for ages!!!

Whatever 'analog' is, I don't like it much - it means that the monkey moves too much & falls off the edge. I wanted to move it with little arrows, like you got on things like the original Nintendo console thing, but NO - you have to use a joystick thing on this! How mean - I didn't really get the hang of it. It's not fair - it was so hard!

James & Mark just kept telling me to just move it a little bit & be gentle, but the thing is, I'm not really a gentle person, & if you're going to do something, you may as well do it properly! If you DO have to move a joystick, it should be a lot, not just a tiny little touch! What's the point in that?!

Any way, I hope they bring their gamecube again, cos it was great!!!

WOOHOO! CathSoc are gonna have their ball at Mad Meg's...Only now, it's gonna b a formal. Food sounds great though, & it means there will be some alcohol included in the cost of the tickets!!!

Also, got 2 Theology essays back, both unassessed, so they don't matter! The one that I thought was total pants, I got 57% for, and the other one, I got 64%!!! SO happy!

Now, I just have assessed ones to get in to!

Having a reconciliation service at the Chaplaincy tonight; the tearful twosome (ie, Zosh & myself) will be at it again - crying, I mean!

Have to go & ask bank for an extension on my overdraft - cos I have NO money!

Have been so busy with essays! Still haven't found anywhere for CathSoc ball next week!

Been spending lots of time in the library - JOY!

It's raining AGAIN! I'm half way home, but decided to stop at the library, cos home is just so far away!!!

Today has been pretty cool. We did lots of deep discussion-like-stuff at the at one group today...

Have to go home & write essays!!!

James updated his blog & said that I'm a "veritable gold mine of statistics"!

Happy now!

I've done SO much work today - a whole 6 hours!!! For me, that's loads.

Upset with James, he didn't say that I was a veritable goldmine on his blog & he said he would!!!

My "mood brighteners" have kicked in, & I'm starting to feel better already, which is good!

This week has been pretty cool really, but I really do have to start writing essays...There's no books in the library though!!! They're all on temporary reserve, or on loan until next year!!!

ARGH! How mean!

& why do I have a blog? Because James has one, & he said Zosh & I should get one.

I'm going home to bed now, cos I'm really tired!