End of term!!! Almost can't believe I've got through a whole term...

Now, there's 2 weeks off... But things've been tough at home, and prayers'd be much appreciated at the moment... Not something I really want to talk about at the minute, but it's put me in a real bad mood all day today - & on the last day of term! But, I was well looked after at school, which was nice.

Have just been listening to Chasing Cars - now it can go on my ipod! & it does have beautiful lyrics...

Hopefully going up to Stevenage to see my little brother on Saturday - he'll be 10 next week! & then on Sunday, we should be going down to Exeter until the 27th, & then up to Warwickshire for the rest of the break. Hopefully everything'll work out OK...

Chasing Cars does have beautiful lyrics - I am glad there's other people out there who appreciate the same stuff as I do!!!

Last week of term - 3 & a half days left to go, and I am looking forward to it, but in a way will probably miss it for two whole weeks. It is quite a long time, but I don't think I'll change much in that time!

I have also been given my lesson material for the remainder of term, at least for KS3 - it comes in DVD form, and is otherwise known as 'the Grinch', and though I might be sick to the eye teeth of it by the end of the week, I'll watch it over & over again because I've been told to by my head of department, and who am I to disagree?!

Didn't say when I blogged on Friday, but I did my first assembly for Year 9. I got a clap for it & everything! Talked to them about Mary (Jesus' mum) and Muhammad (pbuh), and how they were both brave enough to change the world. I said that I wasn't asking them to change the world, but was asking them to spend the holiday thinking about any part of themselves that may need changing in the new school term. Afterwards, I had quite a few kids come up to me and tell me that it was a 'sick' assembly, which I am assured does mean 'good'(!); I was quite pleased... Only 2 of us have got a clap for our assemblies this term!

Not much else to say, really, but what / where is Galway Bay? (It's in Fairytale of New York - another good song - by the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl...)

One more week of term left!

This week has been odd...

On Wednesday, it was the old people's party at school. Colin, Kemme & me entertained them, and then I got ignored while all of the ladies flirted with Colin & Kemme...

I got so scared - had forgotten how nervous I get. I played clarinet for them, and I was shaking!

No more panic attacks, but I did come close to it on Thursday. My Year 11s were a pain. Really bad lesson! But they're in exams all next week, so the most contact I have to have with them is invigilating, which is good...

Had a song going round in my head all week, which is odd for me - I listen to my ipod on the way to school, and on the train on the way home, so usually I have at least a song a day in my head... But this week, one song's just got stuck there. It's Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol (it's not even on my ipod! & Snow Patrol aren't one of my favourite bands in the world either); to 'just forget the world' sounds a really good idea...

9 days of school til the end of term! & counting...

Old people's party this week - I'm playing clarinet for them... Haven't played on my own, or even outside of church for ages. Have been practising, and so I'm not going bright red every time I play now - which is good.

Really tired. Not sleeping as well as usual, so I'm not getting any less tired. It's not good.

Walked to Henley on Saturday (about 10 miles). Got about half way there, and came to a flood! We walk along the river bank, and it was flooded. So, we walked through it. Got very wet!! We did get to Henley eventually, and it was good. Met some really odd people! Got a train home - it's easier than walking home in the dark!!!

Had my first panic attack in a long time at the weekend - proper hyperventilation and everything. It went on for ages, and because I haven't had one for so long, I don't keep beta blockers or anything like that any more, so I just had to deal with it. Was knackered afterwards - that really wasn't good...

Less than 3 weeks of school left til we finish for Christmas - am looking forward to the break!

Still being observed lots, but have started to get better feedback; on Friday, my lesson was even 'good'!!! & with a difficult class, so I was really happy. Being observed again tomorrow - am a bit nervous because it's a difficult class, but I'm hoping it'll be OK. If I can get at least a 'satisfactory', I'll feel a bit less pressured!

All in all, things are going pretty well. We went properly out for the night on Saturday - didn't get home til 3am! It was good, but I was so hungover on Sunday morning & I'd only had about 6 drinks in 9 hours - how pathetic is that?!

Sorry to you Exeter people I upset with my last post - it wasn't you that the bit about the past was aimed at.

I received an unwelcome forwarded email at the weekend. I would like the person who requested that the email be forwarded to know that I don't want to know about their life, and I certainly do not want to re-initiate contact. Any contact of any kind is unwelcome. I would also like that person to leave me alone to get on with my life, and stop trying to look me up on Google or anywhere else. There is no element of my life that is shared or held in common with that person any more; I would like to keep it that way.

I am glad that I still have friends who read my blog, & there are others who are also welcome, but the author of the email is not welcome here.

Don't you just hate it when the past creeps up on you? Often in unwanted ways... I hate that.

Once again, it's been a long time since I blogged. Now, there's only 4 weeks left until the end of term, & either the kids are settling down, or I'm getting used to them.

The worst thing about having to share a classroom is the mess other people leave, and the fact that they don't rub the board when they're finished. There are not any board rubbing fairies, and so when I go back into my room, I have to do it; and then there's the paper all over the floor. My tutor group now know that on the days that someone else uses my classroom before lunch, they get to clean up in afternoon registration so it's not so much of a mess for the afternoon...

Any way, right now, I have to write a worksheet on Diwali for Year 7...

Well, once again, it appears to be almost 2 whole months since I blogged. It has been a v busy 2 months - since last time, I have moved house, and have been teaching for almost 5 whole weeks. It is only 8 more school days until half term, which is quite a big landmark for me!

School has generally been good, but I think that with some of my classes, it will take them a while longer to realise that I AM a permanent fixture! Hopefully, they will start to settle down a bit soon.

Sometimes, school is a bit difficult - in some ways, I think it's because I care a lot more about my classes than I did last year; that might sound really bad, but while I was doing my PGCE, I was only ever temporarily teaching someone else's classes, & knew that I'd be giving them back at the end of my placement. But now, my classes are mine, & there's no one to give them back to, and I am essentially responsible for how well they perform in their GCSE (in the case of Years 10 & 11).

I'm finding that there are plenty of challenges - both in terms of behaviour, and pupils who don't speak much English - I'm getting to be good at using on-line Polish-English / English-Polish translators, as one of my pupils is in the early stages of learning English, and sometimes needs a bit of help with some vocabulary!

Thankfully, there are people in the staffroom who really help me get through the tough days, and people who also struggle with some of my more difficult classes...

Outside school, life is getting easier - I'm finding that I can stay up until after 10 now that I'm getting used to getting up at 6 to go to school! For a while, I was in bed by 10 every night, just to make sure that I could get up the next day!!

In a couple of weeks, I have a hospital appointment in Oxford, to discuss whether my eye can be operated on (to straighten it; it won't really do anything for my sight); and I also have to have some kidney x-rays (not related to my eyes) as I've been having really nasty pains in my kidney region.

Other than that, I'm fairly healthy, and things are going well. Looking forward to half term, but enjoying my job too!

Well, it seems that it's almost a whole two months since I blogged.

I obviously forgot to blog about the fact that I HAVE A JOB!!! It is now only 2 and a half weeks 'til I start (where has the summer gone?!).

It means that I will be moving to Reading within the next couple of weeks. So, new house, new school...

My Significant Other will be coming with me. We're planning on getting married next year - can't afford to do it just yet!

So, life is pretty much full of excitement at the minute. It's changes all round.

I've also got "new" hair - it needs cutting before I start school, but it is now red... I probably also need new glasses, and may also be having my left eye operated on to straighten it - it is moving further out of line.

Also had fun & games in trying to get a new copy of my birth certificate - nightmare! It appears that my birth may have been registered 3 times (!!!) and under 2 different names (surnames), and twice in 1986 & once in 1987, and not at all in 1983... Parents are a nightmare!

Well, I still don't have a job for September. Starting to get a bit concerned now, but if I don't have one, I might just do an MA and look for a job for next September. I think I'm getting better at the interview thing, and I know I'm a good teacher - I was judged as outstanding in every aspect of my teaching practice. I guess the right school just hasn't come up yet, but it's still really frustrating and demeaning going for all these interviews, and still not having a job. To be fair, most of the schools I didn't really like any way, so it's probably better that I didn't get a job in them...

Yesterday, I did the Race for Life in Luton. I'm quite proud of myself. I did no training, and I don't do running. I haven't even tried to run any considerable distance since I was about 14, I think. But I ran (and walked - I didn't run all the way!) 5km in 35 minutes. I was impressed. It was very hot, and sometimes I was held up by the fact that in places, there wasn't really enough room for all the people to get through.

On Wednesday, I'm moving back down to Devon to be closer to my fiance; and then in September, either we'll be moving somewhere else if I have a job, or we'll be staying put for another year. We'll have to see what happens.

I have finished my school experience!!! No more lessons for me (well, not til September any way!)... I'm kind of happy that I've finished, but quite sad to be leaving the school too... Still don't have a job for September, but lots of resignations will be going in over the next couple of weeks, so hopefully I'll get something... Prayers on that one would be much appreciated.

So, it's now half term, and I am exhausted! I think it's partly because now that I know that I've finished school, I'm letting myself feel the tiredness that has been building up. it may also be because I carried my two HUGE school folders home today. Big leverach things they are, and they're full of lesson plans and stuff.

Any way, talking of exhaustion, I think it's time for bed...

So nearly there... 12 lessons left til I finish school (2 lessons tomorrow, at an interview Friday, 1 lesson Monday, 3 lessons Tuesday, 2 lessons Wednesday, 4 lessons Thursday, staff training day Friday)... Will be sad to leave, but am still excited about reaching the end of this year - it's been hard work. I know I've got more hard work to come, but finishing will be clearing a major hurdle!

When I finish school, I then have a week off (half term) which will be nice, and then I go back to college for just over a week, and then I have nearly 3 WHOLE MONTHS OFF!!! I will be working - am marking GCSE exam papers over the summer...

I just can't believe how close I am to being a REAL TEACHER...

A belated crisis of confidence?

Well, I'm now almost half way through the week, meaning that I've got 2 and a half weeks left at school... And, I'm having a crisis of confidence - along the lines of what I perceive to be my lack of classroom control (apparently, according to everyone else, not an issue; I even held it together when my video was in the wrong place, and then rain started coming through the ceiling onto the children...); my tendency to get flustered (EVERYone who's observed me has commented on how calm I am.... Am I sure they're talking about ME?!!); whether I'm going to fail (no causes for concern, so apparently not...).

So despite my worries, other people think that I'm good, and even I know some of my strengths, but it didn't stop me from crying down the phone to my other half... Oh well, it's half term soon....

For Spurs lovers everywhere:

How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Without salmonella, please...
How do you like your toast in the morning?
Without arsenic, please!
How do you like your coffee in the morning?
I like mine without spit...
But I don't mind, I'm just satisfied if breakfast don't make me sick!!!

(To the tune of the advert about orange juice...)

I have a short week at school this week, as yesterday was bank holiday, and I'm at an interview on Friday. I also only have 2 more lessons to plan for the week, as I'm a few lessons ahead in my planning for most classes, and also because it's Year 9 SATs week, which means I only have one Year 9 lesson this week.

Did an introduction to Rastafarianism with Year 8 this morning, which led into a discussion about different types of drugs (one pupils thought Rastas smoke crack). Had to link the slave trade to this lesson, and explaining that led to a discussion about HIV and AIDs, as well as the debts of developing countries.

Only 4 more weeks of my placement left! Then it's half term, and then I go back to college for just over a week, and then I'm finished. Including today, I have 17 more days of teaching left to go!

All is still quiet on the 'Satanist' front. They have not yet been to the head of department to explain why they should be excused from a range of tasks in RE.

Tomorrow, it's possible that they will declare that they cannot participate in the lesson, as we will be looking at Concientious Objectors, and Satanism is based on revenge.

Today was rather eventless. We did get a wasp in the classroom at one point, so the class was in uproar for a while. It's amazing what havoc such a small creature can cause. It's also quite amazing that screaming and flapping at it is supposed to deter it and make it go away. Why are they so afraid of these creatures? "Because it'll hurt if it stings, Miss". Ignore it, and it'll go away. Shout and flap at it, and it'll get angry and sting. "But we're scared of it, Miss!" At this point, I patiently explained that if it did decide to sting me in particular, I was likely to end up in a very bad way as I'm allergic to wasps. I asked if anyone else had the same condition... No takers...? Right, let's get on with the lesson...

"But surely Jesus looked good in a toga?"

"But Miss, Jesus couldn't have been that short!"

"How do you know he didn't have blond hair?"

"He must have been good looking! He's the Son of God!"

"How do you know he ever even existed?!"

I inwardly, and possibly even outwardly groaned, as I was hit by this barrage of questions and exclamations from my Year 9s. They find it very difficult to believe that Jesus was of similar colouring as the people you see on the news coverage from Israel / Palestine; that he was somewhat shorter than people today - they can accept that 2,000 years ago people in general were shorter than we are, but not Jesus!

They also think Jesus would have looked good in a toga! Quite when they think Jesus wore one, I do not know.

These teenagers still hold the idealistic, handsome, delightful physical view of Jesus that most 6 year olds have. They do still think it's likely that he was blond, and from what I can gather, the girls think that he must have looked like some kind of cross between a surfer and a boyband member... They think that because he's the son of God, Jesus was pretty.

Then, there are the sceptics... How could I really, honestly dare to suggest that Jesus existed at all?! But, yes, they know that Julius Caesar existed; they fail to see why this view may be at all problematic. Perhaps all of the people - yes, all of them - who wrote about Jesus were indeed, lying. But, the ones who wrote about Julius Caesar weren't. He was a Roman Emperor, so he must have existed.

I think, though, maybe the questions, comments and denials of Jesus are all overshadowed by the wannabe Satanists. A piece of work involved looking up a Bible quote: "But Miss, we can't touch the Bible. It's against our religion; we're Satanists. It's not even a cult any more, Miss; there's enough people for it to be declared a religion!". I explained to them that when they brought me a note from their parents, I would excuse them from tasks such as this; however, getting notes is, apparently, impossible "My mum doesn't agree with my religion". So, I gave them the option of going to the head of department, and explaining the situation to her - so far, they have not made it that far. Then, of course, they tried, "You wouldn't make a Muslim do this!", well, yes, I would. Then, the icing on the cake... "Do you know the principle of Satanism, Miss? It's based on 'an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth', so all this Bible stuff is really screwing me up." And where exactly do you think 'an eye for an eye' comes from?....

Well, Cyprus was good.

Back at school now, but most definitely on the home-straight. I'm in my last half term of school experience now!

I'm going to Cyprus today!!!!!

Schemes of work... Grr.

Year 11s... Yuk.

6 more days of teaching til Easter... Fantastic.

In a week and a half I will be in Cyprus. I'm so looking forward to it. It's about 20-22 degrees there at the moment. Bliss! It's been about 5 degrees here today, so the extra warmth will be much appreciated.

Me?!! Blogging again! Who would have thought it?

School's going well, which is good... Less than two weeks til Easter! & less than 3 months til I finish my PGCE.

Tiredness is still a big feature in my life; planning, evaluating and marking all take time... But I'm still enjoying it.

Job hunting too, but I'm not doing too well with that. I think it's partly due to my complete inability to write coherent application letters... I find "selling myself" a completely stupid and insincere idea.

I don't know why I'm tired, but I am... Only had one lesson today, as my Year 8s were out of school. Tomorrow, I teach lots.

I have some assignments to be doing, but I only have a couple more left to do after next week.

It's the Easter holiday in just over 2 weeks, & I'll be off to Cyprus in just under 3 weeks - I'm very excited. I bought my suitcase yesterday, it's hot pink, so it'll be easier to find on the carousel thingy.

It'll be warm and sunny in Cyprus. I keep telling myself this when I'm in a cold classroom...

Saw some amazing photos of embryos/foetuses today; I'm teaching abortion to Year 10, and their "normal" teacher had a page from a newspaper showing photos of embryos and foetuses - so much detail, even in really early stages.

At the weekend, I'm going down to Exeter, so that should be good. My little sister will be 6 tomorrow. That makes me feel old.

Well, 'tis nearly the end of another week... I'm so tired! I've spent almost all of this week thinking it's a day later than it really is (just wishful thinking, hoping for the weekend, methinks), so just how I've managed to get to all of the right lessons at the right times, I don't know!

But, just one more day before the weekend & Year 9 have PSHCE in the hall tomorrow, so hopefully, there'll be not much to do there. Other than that I have a Year 10 group, and then (unfortunately) a Year 9 group last thing!! It's the most difficult lesson of the fortnight, and it's really not one that I look forward to...

My next essay is due in two weeks, when I go back to college, along with my profile; but the fact that I'm in college for the day in two weeks means that I don't have Year 9 last thing that day!!

Other than that, I'm still looking for jobs...

I forgot to say, my "drama" lesson was on the story of Moses. We did a freeze-frame; the pupils were in groups of 6, and took on a character from the story and told the story from that character's point of view. It was really good - I had some FANTASTIC pharoahs!

Well, had my first observation from college today, and it went really well. In some ways, I was quite surprised, because I basically did a drama lesson with an RE theme. Had to move all of the tables out of the way, and then put them back before the end of the lesson, but it was all OK. I enjoyed it loads, and so did the kids, which was great.

No teaching tomorrow, as it's "review day" where all of the kids bring their parents, and talk to the class tutor.

Have had a really nice weekend. My family have been away for pretty much the whole weekend, leaving me & o/h with the house & the weekend to ourselves.

We went shopping to buy some holiday clothes - off to Cyprus in four weeks! Very exciting, and today, we cooked a roast pork dinner, and just relaxed. Unfortunately, he has gone home now, & I'm all alone again...

This weekend, I have also learnt where a lot of places are in the country; have been going through the TES jobs pages & looking at the locations of different schools... Not too keen on the big city idea, but can't go anywhere too remote, as o/h needs to be able to find work too...

Tired... That pretty much describes me now... Essays, lesson plans, lesson evaluations, teaching... Oh, and trying to have a life too - I'm quite good at succeeding with that bit, though my attempts to go to the gym in recent weeks have been pitiful to put it mildly, and my life has to fit in before 10:30 on school nights. If I'm not in bed by then, I'm not good the next day...

At the moment, I want to expand my CD collection - thankfully my man has hundreds of the things, so we can share... But, there's definitely not enough Green Day going on in either of our collections, and the same can be said for the Foo Fighters, so that's where our expansions will be starting.

Still, lesson plans and evaluations are calling...

Sometimes, talking about the future, and major changes that are going to happen in your life can be somewhat strange, especially when it's so easy to be caught up in the moment and what's happening now, and maybe tomorrow, but not much further in the future than that.

But, "the show must go on..."

It's the weekend!!! I love school, but weekends are still great.

Today, I had a good discussion on abortion with my Year 10 group, and then did some crowd control this afternoon with a Year 9 group (last lesson on Friday's always a toughie!).

"I know an island where the people are kind, and the rest of the world seems far away. Maybe it's only in the back of my mind, but I know when I go that's where I'll stay."

I made an origami lotus flower (nothing fancy / complicated!). It has the 4 Noble Truths on the inside, and the 8fold Path on the outside. I like it, but not sure if / how I'll use it in lessons...

Well, I've been back at school for nearly a whole week now, and it's been good. It was surprisingly hard to get back into the swing of school though, but I know that I wasn't alone in that feeling - it was shared with many others in the staffroom.

So far, my lessons have been going well, which is nice - I do have some fairly challenging classes & room changes due to a variety of things, but I haven't had any disasters yet.

I have my first interview next Wednesday, which is exciting but nerve-wracking at the same time.

Not really much news going on at the minute - had lots of snow today, but it didn't settle.

Finally, all I have to say is "I'm stalking a fan, he lives in a high rise block"...

Alas, 'tis nearly the end of half term. Just today, and the weekend, and then it's back to school I go. I do, however, love half terms - they are fantastic things!

I have spent my half term in Exeter with my loved one, which has been very nice. I've written a few application letters, but other than that, I've mainly just been relaxing, and catching up with a few people.

It's amazing how you come to appreciate a week off so much, and how much your insight and outlook change when you're doing a PGCE; it's also funny how much it makes you grow up, and consider what kind of a role model you are. It's so different from life as a degree student! Obviously, fun is still a necessarily important element in life, but you think about what you're doing so much more.

Any way, I'm on a library computer - have had 29 of my 30 minutes, so have to go now!

School...

School is going well, which is nice. I have my first lot of marking to do tonight - some Year 10 exam question answers. I have one more day, and then it's half term, which is nice. I do have things to be doing, and files to be organising during half term, but all the same, I do have time for a break, which will be much appreciated!

Am applying for jobs at the moment - there a bit all over the place though, as there's not much locally. A lot of the jobs advertised at the moment seem to be in Yorkshire, so I could be moving again in a few months.

I don't really have anything very insightful to say, so I'm going to stop saying things now.

Well, I had a good weekend - it was a lot of fun, but now, I'm ill. My kidneys hurt & I generally feel crap. I couldn't get a doctor's appointment today, so I have to phone again in the morning (I have to make my appointment on the day I want it...)

From today, I don't go into college again until March 24th - no more 5:30 mornings for me! I start school properly on Monday, and then a week on Monday, it'll be half term.

It's now only 4 and a half months until I finish my PGCE entirely!

I got my timetable today, which is exciting; I'm teaching two thirds of a timetable this placement - I at least one class from each year group up to (& including) Year Eleven. I didn't get to teach much GCSE at my last school, so I'm really happy that I've got some this time.

Tomorrow, I'm going to London for a banquet and ceilidh (if that's how you spell it), and then on Sunday, I will be marching down Whitehall with lots of other people and a pike, whilst dressed in 17th century clothing. It will be the anniversary of the death of Charles I on Sunday, which is why we're doing this.

Now, I have to go - I have to write a lesson plan on the Last Supper for Monday (for college, not school), and then I'm going to the gym.

Well, I've decided that my blog is more out of date than is really right or necessary. I've made a few changes to various things, but for the moment, at least, I'm back!

The teaching is going pretty well, which is nice; it does have its ups and downs, but I guess that this is really only to be expected, & I do love it, which is always a good thing.

Life in general is going well, which is nice. Am off to Cyprus at Easter, which is also exciting.