Went out with Zosh last night - it was GREAT!!! Next week, we're taking Tessa out, cos she's a 1st year, & can't drink properly!!!LOL

We started off in the Ram, where we had dinner, & a bottle of wine...We then proceeded to the Imp, where we had another bottle of wine...Then, we decided that the Lemmy was a good idea - & I think that we're both convinced that it was!!!

We spent a considerable proportion of the evening bombarding Tessa with texts, telling her that she WILL be taught how to drink, & that we love her, & that we want to meet her mum...I'm thinking, tho, that if her mum had these text messages related to her, then she doesn't want to meet US!!!

We also phoned Zosh's friend, & then we left a message on my friend's phone...Hmm...I wonder what he'll make of that one!!!

At the Lemmy, I stole a pint from a guy who had 2, & downed it - i really should learn that downing a pint ALWAYS gives me hiccups!!! So, then I had hiccups for about 10 minutes afterwards! We also decided that a shot of Dooleys was a good idea...It was - Dooleys is lovely, & just sliiides down!

For a Friday night Lemmy, it was good - especially considering that Friday night Lemmy recently has been pants, as this years' 1st years just cannot drink like we did, & don't go to the Lemmy on Fridays!!! What are they like?! We were ALWAYS in the Lemmy last year...These 1st year students just aren't up to our standards - they don't make them like they used to!!!!

Things are going pretty well with Tony...I spoke to him this morning; I had seen him last night, but we had both consumed a FAIR amount of alcohol...

He apologised if he had been a little COLD(!!!) towards me last night...Apparently, he gets embarrassed easily in front of his friends, and he only split up with his ex a few weeks ago - they'd been together for FIVE YEARS!!!! But, apparently he really likes me, he just wants to go pretty slowly.

I was also very brave & told him about Tim & what he did to me...He got v angry (bless), & said that even if we do only end up being friends, then he'll never let anyone do that to me again...He's such a sweetie!!!

OK, I'm going to stop talking about him now, cos I'm sure everyone but me finds this very, very boring...But, it's my blog, so it's stuff that's exciting for me!!!

Oh, we might have an addition to the chaplaincy singers...(& this will only make any real sense to ONE person...hehehe)

I've tried to do links to James' & Zosh's blogs...Don't know if it works!!!

Well, I've done almost nowt today. Just made a doctor's appointment for Monday, cos I lost looooooooooads of weight, & don't know why!!! It's quite worrying, but I'm sure it's nothing to worry about!

Going out with Zosh later - v excited!!! Last week when we met up in the Lemmy (we did know the other one was going!) it was sooo much fun, & ZOSIA GOT ANGRY!!! I think that she should be very proud of that!!!

I don't think that there's anything wrong with being single. I think we should do stuff for single ladies only (cos I am still single) and see how ppl like Amy like THAT!!!! That'll teach her for being mean to my Zosh!!!

Any way, kids TV is really annoying me now, & my housemate wants the internet, so I'm off now!!!

EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!

It wasn't quite as bad as I thought; I think I may have passed, but I didn't do too well.

I had another email from Kris, he's decided that he's going to stand for CathSoc Treasurer - I am really pleased, because he will be good at it.

I bought some cds today, I was only going to buy one, but ended up with four, but never mind - they're all really cool ones, too. I got Stacie Orrico; Alicia Keys, the Diary of Alicia Keys; Amy Studt, False Smiles; Evanescence, Fallen.

Also went out for lunch with Tony, which was cool...He's lovely. Nothing's happened yet - he's just lovely, and we get on really well. Personally, I'd be happy to just stay friends with him, but...

Now, I have until Tuesday before I have to do anything again...I have Mondays off this semester!!! Yay!!

Today, I did another exam; I think it went OK - I was definitely better on the question worth 40% than the one worth 60%, but never mind.

I had a reply from Kris about next year's committee - it did make me giggle; I was SO nice in my email to him, & this is what I got back:

"Hi Lisa,

Thanks for your message. I'm afraid that I haven't been checking my emails much over this last week because of exams and there's a whole lot I've missed out on.

I won't be able to come to CathSoc tonight because I have a 9:00am exam tomorrow (which is the hardest of the 3).

I'll continue to consider the committee, but I'm really not sure if I'll stand or not.

Kris. "

So, I've replied!

"Hi,

Thanks for getting back to me - I understand the whole exam thing - I've had 3 as well, & my hardest one is at 9:30 tomorrow! So, just half an hour difference! I'll think of you at 9:00 tomorrow morning when I'm panicing about my exam.

I'm glad that you're considering standing for the committee. I hope that you do, but wouldn't want you to feel pressured in any way.

Lisa."

LOL - This amused me somewhat hehehe.

Well, I'm feeling VERY unloved! No-one ever leaves comments on MY blog - poor me.

Did my 1st exam today, & as I hoped, a question on "women-church" came up. I think, and hope that I did OK.

Got an exam tomorrow too, but not til the afternoon - at least all 3 aren't in the morning. Was supposed to do lots of revision this afternoon, but didn't, since I was really tired - my counselling session was hard today.

Looking forward to problem of pain talk tomorrow - last week's was good - hopefully this week's will be too.

Haven't had a reply from Kris yet....

For some reason, I've taken pity on Zosh, as she's worried about singing in Mass tomorrow, and said that I'll sing with her - oh dear!!! I DON'T sing for a good reason - I wish I'd just remember to keep telling myself this!!!

Well, I've done LOADS of revision today, since I have my feminist theology exam tomorrow. I'm quite nervous about it, but really, OK on the whole.

I sent an email to Kris, asking if he'd consider being Treasurer or Secretary on next year's committee...We'll just have to wait & see what his response will be!!!

I'm really hoping that on tomorrow's exam, a question on the idea of "women-church" comes up. I think I'm quite good at that. I find it really interesting, and would have a lot to talk about. It covers issues like the ordination of women, which I'd enjoy having a rant about...It also looks at how applicable things like traditional liturgy are for women...It's very cool.

I LOVE feminist theology. I'm actually really upset that I won't be doing it next semester.

Hmm, well James thinks I don't know what a final blessing is. I'm not sure of whether not knowing what it's called is a big issue - I mean, if I understand what it is, then surely it doesn't really matter what I call it.

Also, I'm not really sure of the adequacy of the Nicene Creed, due to the beliefs of the Church fathers of the time. I also quite like having a variety of creed - it means that I actually have to think a lot more about what I'm saying; it cannot just be recited. Now, that is far more about me, than about anything else. It's about how I work, I guess, but I like variety.

OK, so the Nicene Creed:
We believe in one God the Father Almighty
Maker of all things visible and invisible,
And in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the Son of God,
Begotten of the Father only-begotten
That is of the substance of the Father,
God of God,
Light of Light,
true God of true God,
Begotten not made,
Consubstantial with the Father,
Through whom all things came into being,
Both those in heaven and those on earth;
Who for us humans and for our salvation, came down
And was made flesh, and was made human,
Suffered and rose on the third day,
Ascended into heaven
And is coming to judge the living and the dead.
And in the Holy Spirit,
But those who say There was when he was not,
and Before he was begotten he did not exist,
and that He is out of nothing,
or say that the Son of God is of another hypostasis or ousia,
or made or changeable or mutable,
The holy catholic and apostolic church anathematizes.

Right, so this has a fair number of anti-Arian statements, and a huge paragraph of anathemae at the end...I prefer the creed of Constantinople, which has a more developed clause of the Holy Spirit, has no anathemae, denies subordination within the Trinity, and contains only one anti-Marcellian statement.

OK, so, until it refers to John 1:3, where it says the bit about "through whom all things came into being", the two are pretty much the same...but then the Creed of Constantinople goes on to say that:

Who for us humans and our salvation came down from heaven,
And was made flesh by the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary and was made human,
And was crucified for our sake under Pontius Pilate, and suffered, and was buried,
And rose on the third day according to the scriptures, and ascended into heaven,
And is seated at the right hand of the Father,
And is coming in glory to judge the living and the dead,
Whose kingdom shall have no end;
And in the Holy Spirit, the Lord the Life-giver,
Who proceeds from the Father,
Who with the Father and the Son is jointly worshipped and glorified,
Who spoke by the prophets;
In one holy catholic and apostolic church;
We confess one baptism for the remission of sins,
We expect the resurrection of the dead
And the life of the coming age.

I prefer this to the Creed of Nicaea. By 381 when this was formulated there was a better understanding of the Trinity. Throughout the 4th century, there was much discussion on the Trinity, and the nature of the persons/ousia/hypostases within the Trinity.

Any way, I think that I've done enough theology here today...I have enough theology to revise today...SO, there you go. That's my thought on the whole thing of creeds. If they're theologically sound, I don't see why using a different one is at all problematic. If it properly professes our faith, then why the problem?!

Woohoo!!! Got comment boxes!!!! Yay - thank you James!!!

OK, there are major reforms going on music wise at Church - it is scaring me just a little, for a start, it's all so, well, organised!!! I didn't think organisation happened where the music was concerned!!!

Most of the reforming is cool, but I'm not too sure about not having recessional hymns...Paul thinks that, from a theological perspective, Mass should end after the priest's "dismissaly" bit, rather than after the hymn that comes after that...Surely, the true point of a recessional hymn is that it's sung while people are actually leaving...The fact that Paul seems to be the only one to ever leave during the recessional is a totally different issue!

I'm also not entirely sure that I see why, from a theological perspective, we should finish Mass without a recessional hymn. I would have thought that things like that had more to do with a dogmatic perspective, but there we go. I think that I have probably said enough on that now!

There was a party at my house last night, as it was Tim's 20th birthday. He got very drunk, and was sick many times. At one point, he also expressed a desire to urinate on the coffee table. Fortunately, we did pursuade him that the coffee table IS NOT the toilet...Oh dear!!!

OK, today my blog entry is going to be a story. It's writtten by an Asian woman called Suniti Namjoshi, and is from the Blue Donkey Tales. I love this story; it's one that my English Lit teacher gave to my class in the 1st year of English Lit A Level. I think it says a lot about people. It also says a lot about my Lit teacher, and the values that she has. She is a wonderful lady, and while I know that all that she did for me cannot be put into words, a bit of what she did can be shared. It was this lady who helped me to overcome an eating disorder, to value and assert myself, and to pursue my ambitions - regardless of what others may think. I owe so much to her, and I'm not sure that she knows just how much I value her, and her friendship.

THE BLUE DONKEY.

Once upon a time a blue donkey lived by a red bridge. 'Inartistic', said the councillors who governed that town. 'A donkey who lives by our bright red bridge should be of the purest and silkiest white or we must request that the said donkey be required to move on.'
The matter soon turned into a political issue. One party said that the donkey never had been and never would be white and what was asked of the donkey was grossly unfair. If, on the other hand, the donkey were required to be a nondescript grey )instead of a loud and laughable blue), they would be prepared to accept the solution as a reasonable way out. But the opposing party found a fault in their logic. 'Just because donkeys have never known to be white', they pointed out patiently, 'it does not follow that a donkey is incapable of achieving whiteness. Your argument imposes and arbitrary limitation on the creature's potential.' Good heavens!' cried the others. 'Are you suggesting that the donkey's blueness may be a matter of culpable wilfulness rather than a mere genetic mischance?' 'Yes,' responded the logicians. 'Let us confront the creature and you can see for yourselves.'
They approached the donkey, who happened to be munching a bright pink carrot which clashed most horribly with the bright red bridge. 'O Donkey,' they said, feeling they had better get it over with at once, 'we'd like you to turn an inoffensive grey or else move on.' 'Can't and won't,' replied the donkey. 'There you see,' cried half the populace. 'Obviously wilful!' 'No, no,' cried the other half. 'Patently flawed!' And they began to dispute among themselves. The donkey was puzzled. 'I'm a perfectly good donkey,' she said at last. 'What exactly is the matter with you?' 'Your blueness troubles us,' wailed the citizens. 'It clashes with our bridge, as does the pinkness of your carrots. Oh what shall we do? We cannot agree among ourselves.' 'Look again,' advised the donkey.
And so they did; they looked and argued and squabbled and argued and after a while most of them got used to the blueness of the donkey and didn't notice it any more. But a few remained who maintained strongly that blueness was inherent, and a few protested that it was essentially intentional. And there were still a few others who managed to see - though only sometimes - that the Blue Donkey was only herself and therefore beautiful. These last occasionally brought her a bunch of blue flowers which she put in a vase.

OK, little less stressed than yesterday. Still angry and hurting tho, but don't really want to talk about that.

Today, I had my last lecture on tragic Greek drama - we start comedy next semester. I got my essay back too...my estimate as to what mark I'd get was 53%; I really wasn't far off - I got 51%, which considering how I'd been feeling when I wrote the essay was pretty good. The lecturer also suggested that during reading week (next week), we read 5 plays...Yep! That's likely, I only have 3 exams!!! I mean, come on, it's not really fair!!!!!!!!!

For the 2nd day in a row, I went to the prayer for Christian unity. Jacqui led it today. It was good. She had found some v thought provoking newspaper articles showing various forms of conflict...We prayed, & read some Bible passages. It was cool. It gave me the opportunity to truly take some time out.

I also chatted with Jacqui for a bit afterwards, which was nice. Talked about my ex a bit, & how I'm not going to let him ruin my life, & about my depression. We also talked about me wanting to be a teacher, Turkish names (Jacqui's maiden name was Turkish, as is my surname!), and Roman Catholic nuns....

On Sunday, I'm cooking at Church on Sunday - baked potatoes! James has too many, so I'm getting the potatoes from him, & Zosh & her brother are getting the toppings for me, which is cool!

EXAMS NEXT WEEK!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!

OK; it's official...My ex is a total fool!!!! He just cannot stop hurting me.

My best friend from home forwarded an email from Tim to me today. He is such an absolute idiot! I think he needs someone to go & pay him some very careful attention and to make him feel loved - I think that he's a very broken young man, & I don't think I'm the person to make it better.

This is some of what he wrote...& what I think of it!

He says: "I know that there is no real hope for me & Lisa to get back together." (I say: TOO RIGHT. YOU'VE GOT NO CHANCE. JUST LOSE THE 'REAL' FROM THAT & I'LL B IN FULL AGREEMENT WITH U!) "Perhaps there were cracks (in our relationship) appearing but I didn't really think anything of it until the end of Easter..." (THERE WERE CRACKS WAY BEFORE THAT. YOU DIDN'T JUST ASSAULT ME TWICE, YOU'D BEEN DOING IT FOR A YEAR! YOU ALSO WENT FURTHER THAN I TOLD PEOPLE...NO, U DIDN'T RAPE ME IN THE NORMAL, TECHNICAL SENSE OF THE WORD...BUT WHAT ELSE WOULD U CALL IT. I THINK THAT WHAT U DID GOES BEYOND SEXUAL ASSAULT!) "...I do still believe that if she had been well...we would not have lost the relationship..." (NO, IF I HAD "BEEN WELL" I'D HAVE HAD THE SENSE TO GET OUT EARLIER, FOOL!!!) "What I found hard was the speed that our relationship went downhill and Lisa's apparent lack of interest in sorting it out or talking any of the issues through with me." ("THE SPEED OUR RELATIONSHIP WENT DOWN HILL?!" WHAT R U ON?! JUST THINK OF WHAT U DID TO ME. DID U EXPECT ME TO WANT TO SAVE SUCH A MESS???!!! DO U THINK I WANTED TO TALK TO U? LET U KNOW HOW BAD U MADE ME FEEL? HOW MUCH IT HURT?! MENTALLY & PHYSICALLY??!!) "Decisions were made without consultation or ignored, both of which caused problems." (YEP, LIKE I'M GOING TO TELL U I'M GOING TO THE POLICE COS OF ALL U DID?! THE ONLY DECISIONS IGNORED WERE URS, COS I WASN'T ALLOWED TO MAKE ANY!!!)"Certainly the weekend we came to stay with you I would say we were fine with each other..."(YEP...THAT WAS ALL FINE...U JUST CARRIED ON AS U NORMALLY DID IN MY BEST FRIEND'S BEDROOM!!! I WAS TOO SCARED TO EVEN CRY COS OF WHAT U'D SAY. I'M SURE U COULD MAKE IT MY FAULT!)"I just hope that she sorts out all of her issues, otherwise I feel very sorry for her future boyfriends."(YES, I KNOW I HAVE ISSUES THAT NEED SORTING. WHAT ABOUT U THO?!! HOW CAN U SAY THAT ABOUT SOME1 U CLAIM TO STILL LOVE?! HOW MUCH MORE HURT DO U WANT TO CAUSE?!)"I had noticed that she almost seemed to be looking for me to make a mistake...like the rest of the men in her life..."(OK, THAT'S RIGHT! BLAME IT ON OTHER PPL! BLAME IT ON ME!!!!!YAY! BLAME IT ON THE FACT I CANNOT RELATE TO MEN. IGNORE THE FACT A LOT OF MY FRIENDS R MEN!!!!! WOOHOO - DOING WELL THERE!) "...She attacked me on a few occasions..." (OK...ONE OF THESE IS EVIDENTLY THE NIGHT U THREW ME ACROSS MY ROOM, B4 THE BISHOP'S BBQ. IN CASE U HADN'T NOTICED, U WERE PREVENTING ME FROM LEAVING THE ROOM. THE OTHER TIME I CAN THINK OF, U THOUGHT I WAS ASLEEP, BUT I WASN'T. I DIDN'T WANT U 2 B DOING WHAT U WERE DOING. I HAD A RAZOR BLADE IN MY HAND & WAVED IT AT U 2 TRY 2 KEEP U AWAY. I THREATENED TO CASTRATE U, BUT DO U WONDER? REALLY?)"..that was a big shock & confused me hugely.."(SO, NOW U KNOW HOW I FELT FOR MOST OF THE TIME WE WERE TOGETHER?!)"We talked such a lot at the beginning about how to end the relationship; everything we decided went out of the window." (YOU EXPECTED ME TO FEEL THE SAME AFTER WHAT U DID?!!! I THINK U RATHER CHANGED THE RULES!!!)

Sorry, I needed to do that. sorry.

Today, I have had a busy day. I was late for my physio appointment. I really, honestly thought it was at 9:30, but it was at 9:00 - d'oh! Still, the physio saw me anyway - nice man that he is.

The muscles in my legs are apparently very tight, & that's why I'm in so much pain at the moment. I also have to take anti-inflammatories for the next 5 days or so to try to relieve it...It hurts SOOOO much! I also have more exercises to try to help my knee get better, & to get my muscles to stretch, & I have to go back on February the 12th...If the exercises don't work, he's going to have to start manipulating my leg - ouch!

I went to 3 lectures today...I only have 1 more lecture before exams. I also finished Feminism today - I am very upset. It was a great module, & the lecturer is lovely. In Hebrew Bible, our lecturer told us pretty much exactly what's going to be on the exam - thank you Don! Not sure he's supposed to do that...Mary described him as a 'crafty devil'!

I also went to the prayer for Christian unity at lunch time. It wasn't bad. I was the only Catholic there. Quite a lot of Methang were there today.

Then, I helped with an open day. Apparently, I'm lovely, & ppl have got a good impression of the uni bcos of me, which is nice, & helps a bit with the confidence which isn't sky high at the moment.

I have an appointment with the disability resource ppl in just over a week, they want to talk about how to make stuff easier for me...That should be good.

Saw my ex's sister today. She came to the Theology open day. I did find it quite hard - obviously we're not the best of friends. Mary said that I coped well tho, & didn't treat her any differently to anyone else, which is good.

OK, are you all sitting comfortably? Good!!!

It's now time for the second installment of really random woman story!!!

...As I was saying - the Express & Echo?!!! I could have read that when I was four!!!!! Never mind six!!!!! lol lol! So, I told her about the stuff that I used to read when I was little...& that was the end of the conversation...Or so I thought!!! Then she started talking about something else!!!

By this time, the lads were in absolute hysterics...Sort of properly, doubled over, cannot breathe laughing. So, from both sides, I could hear laughing...From out of the corner of my eye, I could even see Steve laughing!!! At this point, even I couldn't contain myself any longer, & stifled giggles started to escape...We finished conversation after conversation, but she just started more conversations.

Tim even started calling me for dinner to try to get her to go away...All she did was ask us what we were eating, & then proceeded to tell us what she was going to have, & how leftovers should be eaten...As if we don't know! We are students after all!!!

Well, eventually this woman did go, & as soon as I closed the door, the whole house just erupted into absolute hysterical laughter...It was so bad, it was painful. We just could not stop laughing!!!!

Any way, since I have exams next week, I do feel that I should go & revise, & stop writing my blog! hehehe.

Ooops!!!!!!!!Thought my lecture was at 11...it was at 10!!!!!!!!!!Oh dear.....Last on b4 the exam as well...You would have thought that after a whole semester, I'd know when my lectures are!

Next semester, I do only have four hours of lectures (& two seminars) to remember...which is good, but the seminars are on alternate weeks, which may confuse me somewhat!!

Last night was a GOOD night! We had our housemates for next year round for a bit, & some drinkage went on...the 2 new ones had half a bottle of wine between them (we WILL be teaching them how to drink next year!!!), Chris & Steve had about 12 cans between them, Tim had about 3/4 of a bottle of wine & a pint, & I had about 1/4 of a bottle of wine & a bottle of martini (yes, a whole bottle!! What do you think I am?!)...We were RATHER merry, & Chris & I had a Mr Raj at 1:00 this morning, & Tim had a block of cheese(!!!).

I got up at about 10:00 this morning (when I should have been in my lecture - but the less said about that one, the better!!!), & cleaned the bathroom. I think that I should ALWAYS drink a bottle of martini the night before I clean the bathroom - it seems to make it more fun, & it doesn't take me as long as usual, either...

I was, surprisingly, not hungover this morning. I am very impressed with myself, as it appears that I am immune to hangovers!!!hehehe!!! Tim, however, did have a hangover, which is always amusing...oh, I am oh so cruel!!! hehehe...

Rather looking forward to CathSoc tonight...The problem of pain it is...I can be a sadist...or not...Should be interesting tho.

I did not go to the CU last night. I'm afraid that alcohol was a far more appealing option, but hey! Alcohol was also far more fun!!!

We had such a random woman come to our house last night! It was hilarious!!! The only bad thing was that this occurred during the Simpsons!!! Any self-respecting person should be in from 6-6:30pm, cos the Simpsons rules!!! But no, this woman was obviously not self respecting. She came to our house half way through the Simpsons!!! Tim answered the door to her; at first, she refused to believe that a seven year old child called Isabel with a rabbit did not live in our house. I mean, four of the five of us were there...we don't look like parents....& as all of the others are blokes (Sarah's in Verona this week! Lucky girl!!), that would make me the mother of this child...Oh dear...But I don't want tp be a mummy!!! ARGH! My worst nightmare manifesting itself!!!

At one point, we did think that this woman was going to demand to come in, so that she could ensure that Isabel was not there, & neither was the rabbit. We then did manage to establish the purpose of her mission...She had been with her grandson, & they had picked some lovely, organic, dandelions which they wanted to give to Isabel's rabbit....OK!!!

At this point, the lads were finding it very hard to hold in the hysterical laughter which was making them wobble like jellies as it tried to escape from them. I decided that I should go & rescue Tim, but NO! - I, too, was sucked into the invigorating(?!) conversation...Oh dear....

We then started to get a history of this woman's grandchildren, & how the seven year old in Year Three is reading Roald Dahl's autobiography. I was, frankly, unimpressed. At the age of eight - but also in Year Three - I read the Hobbit. We're talking the proper, full, version, not some silly abridged thing designed for children. I wasn't going to read a child's book when there was an adult one to tackle!!!! Afraid that she had been beaten, she then proceeded to tell me about the six year old, who had been bet £5 that she cannot read one newspaper article from the Express & Echo...Come on! If it was the Guardian or the Times, then that might be OK, but the Express & Echo?!!!

I will continue with this thrilling account later. Until then you will have to wait in suspense. I have to go to an equally invigorating Classics talk...What are you going to do after your degree?!!

Well, actually, a PGCE in RS, then I'm going to teach for a while, before doing my MA in Catholic School Leadership...So, you can see, this talk will be of great importance & interest to me!

woohoo! All essays in!

Extra time for exams sorted! 25% extra - yay!

Saw Penny today - was so glad to be back with her again. For a start, I got to sit on MY side of the room...Judy made me sit on the other side, which I didn't like AT ALL!

Think I should be in a seminar now, but I forgot. Ah well, never mind.

Haven't really done much else today...I did buy a pink top though. It's very nice, & warm & cuddly. Don't know why I'm so into pink at the moment. Usually, I don't like it cos it's so, well, GIRLY! This top is nice though.

I also bought some exciting pens & some plain paper to do my revision. I am hoping that the pens & paper will do my revision for me, but I bought them a couple of hours ago, & they're not doing anything yet. They need a good kick up the backside. I don't know what else to do with them to make them work. It's very upsetting.

Woohoo - all essays done!!!

Also, Tim Gorringe has a letter from my consultant...it hasn't got as far as the DRC yet, but that's beside the point.

Might be helping with an open day on Thursday. Have been promised I will not get sent on campus tours cos I have physio in the morning.

I'm seeing Penny tomorrow!!! How exciting is that?!

Don't know why, but I had a BIG cry yesterday...I mean BIG! Got a properly runny nose & everything. It didn't happen til night time. I was talking to granny on one of my msn groups, & just sat there crying like a baby. Didn't sleep much either. Too much going on in my head; so didn't go to bed til 5.

I think Zosh's blog is GREAT! What she says there is what she's thinking & feeling, & I like to know that sort of thing about my friends, & anyone who thinks otherwise just shouldn't be reading a blog. A blog is like a diary; it's just online.

Please will u all pray for my housemate, Chris (the big rugby player guy at the formal) - his mummy died on Friday.

I, too, am very excited about going to Scotland...It will be SO much fun!!!!

Am finally getting my extra exam time sorted! Went to the Disability Centre with my diagnosis today. They need another letter from my consultant, which I'm really hoping is on it's way, as they need it on Monday! ARGH!

OK, this is what my consultant has diagnosed me with - get these for big long complicated words!
1) Persistent diplopia
2) Left amblyopia
3) Associated microtropia
Hehehe. I quite like being complicated sometimes!

Woohoo! 2 essays done! Only one more to go...It also meant that I had time for 5 hours of sleep last night!!!

I don't have to hand in essay 3 til Monday, which is good. I wrote the 1st 2 last night...Feminism only took 2 HRS!!! I was so proud. I think 2,502 words in 2 hours is pretty good. My other 1 took about 3 or 3& 1/2 hours to write, but last night I still hadn't finished the reading or planned it...so, I wrote that 1 this morning. I finished Feminism at 2:30ish this morning, & then went to bed until 7:30ish, when I got up & wrote the other 1.

I handed them in just after 12.

I think 1 of my essays was really bad, but apparently I'd have to try REALLY hard to fail, & if I haven't done as well as I would have liked to then it's not too big a deal...according to my lecturer...apparently I'm really far too critical & probably can't give a fair judgment of how well I did - or didn't do.

I'm really not v happy; other than my essays, all I had to remember to bring to campus was my diagnosis from my eye consultant to take to the disability people, but I forgot, so I have to go all the way home & then come back again, when really, I'd far prefer just to lay around & do nothing.

I missed another Greek & Roman Drama lecture today, but that's not MY fault. I think it's a v good thing that Theology don't work on Fridays, & I don't think Classics should either. I think that 12 on Fridays is a v silly time to have a lecture, being as all of my essay deadlines are 12, so I'm blatantly going to be handing essays in at 10 past, & then not go to the lecture, like today.

I really was intending on going, but filling in the silly essay cover sheets takes AGES, so it was 20 past b4 I'd handed over my essays & got the little piece of paper back to say I had handed them in.

Then, I went to see my Feminism lecturer, because I was just going to end up getting really upset about my essay, & it'd ruin my weekend; my lecturer's really nice & I knew that she'd help me feel better - which she did admirably! She had me laughing within about 1/2 a minute, which is quite good going being as I'm tired, hungry & wrote a pants essay. Usually, it's the department secretary who gets the fun job of making sure I don't let my work get to me too much, but she's not in today...She wasn't in yesterday either, so I'm hoping she's OK.

I think there's an open day or something, a load of really innocent looking people have just gone walking past the window with parenty looking people. Just think, maybe they'll be this year's (next year's, depending on how you look at it) fresh! They'll lose their innocence pretty quickly then!! hehehe.

OK, I'm really not procrastinating AGAIN!!! But, this is just SO funny that I had to write about it NOW!!!

OK, picture this...Feminist Theology Seminar...Me, 2 non-Christians, & 6 non-Catholic Christians, 5 of them CU Hall reps I think.

I openly admit that I'm a feminist...So when CU hall reps started dissing it, I wasn't best pleased. They started talking about how feminist interpret Biblical passages differently...So, I said that this happens in Christian denominations any way. I don't think they believed me, so I gave the example of the whole Scriptural basis of transubstantiation.

I said that Catholics interpret what Jesus said (in the Gospels) indicate that it is His body that we consume at Communion; however, Protestants chose to ignore what the Bible says & interpret it differently. I thought I was going to be ABSOLUTELY linched at this point, but it was fine, & they chose to leave me alone. Perhaps they just felt it was the wrong time to convert the poor, misguided Catholic!

I said to my lecturer afterwards that I had been a bit worried about it, & her response was "well, you were right"! I found it SO amusing.

I didn't realise it was quite so long since I blogged! It's been AGES! Ah well.

Since the 19th, some stuff has happened. Spent most of it being very tired, cos I worked loads.

M&S was quite fun; unfortunately, the one here has no vacancies, so I'm still jobless.

Am back down to one "mood brightener" a day, so am quite proud of myself, especially being as I'm quite stressed about essays & exams & stuff at the moment.

Christmas was pretty good; I spent it with my family, & it was all OK.

New Year was OK too, though my Mum & Auntie don't get on too well, & there's just SO much sibling rivalry there!

On New Year's Eve, I worked behind the bar with my Dad while Mum was waitressing; it was free alcohol for us all night, since we're staff, & we didn't have to stick to pub measures - but also didn't get drunk because we were running around crazily all night too, to make sure we had enough glasses washed so that we could still serve drinks. I mainly drank Jack Daniels & coke...The thing was I had a really tall glass with ice, & a shot of coke, & the rest was JD...I also had ice in another glass with Baileys, Kahlua, Whisky & Vodka - that was rather nice...Then at midnight, we were all drinking champagne - as you do!

I finished work in M&S on Saturday 10th; I was actually quite sad to leave, as I really enjoyed it! It was v funny on Friday...There was this customer who brought back some jumpers that she bought in 2001, & expected a refund!!! She went on & on at me for over 15 minutes, but I eventually got rid of her! After we closed, about 2 minutes after she left, 2 of the managers came up to me & asked me if I'd served a customer who wanted a refund from 2001, then they asked if I'd given the refund...& then they said a customer had been to them about me...At this point I got rather worried, & thought that the woman had complained, & braced myself for a good bollucking! Apparently, though, a customer who had been behind this woman at the till, had asked to speak to a manager to tell them how brilliantly I had coped, & how lovely I was!!!

I also went to my friend Miranda's wedding with my best friend Paul. It was great! We stayed in a hotel overnight, since the wedding was in Gloucester...The first room they tried to give us only had a double bed though, & we were just like 'OI! NO!' & so they moved us!

I saw my consultant ophthalmic & oculoplastic surgeon on the 5th. I've finally been given a diagnosis for my eyes...& been referred to a guy at the John Radcliffe hospital in Oxford, to see if there's anything that can be done for me.

On the day I came home (the 11th), I met up with Maria (a nun, who also used to be my counsellor) in Birmingham. We spent a couple of hours chatting & drinking hot chocolate & eating cake, which is always good. She's also at least as bad at procrastinating when it comes to writing essays as I am, which I find quite funny! She also said that she'll try to come to Exeter some time this term, which would be lovely, since she's great & I miss her a lot.

I have to hand in 3 essays tomorrow. I haven't actually written any of them. I'm procrastinating instead.

I have to see the dr today. My dr's off sick indefinitely, so I'm seeing a different one, which I'm quite worried about...

My counsellor's back though! Penny was off sick all of last term, but now she's back, which is very exciting, cos she's lovely, & I get on with her better than the counsellor I saw last term. Penny also got me through some really tough times last year, & is one of the main reasons that I'm still here now.

I had a really tough lecture on Monday...It was a feminism one, & we were sort of drawing together the stuff we've done in the module, since we have our exam on the 27th(ARGH!!!)...Quite a big issue in feminist theology relates to the assumed sexual rights of men over women, & to rape, & sexual abuse & stuff; not a nice lecture to be in. I thought about getting up & leaving the lecture, as I was sat right next to the door, but I didn't. I stayed, because by leaving, I would have admitted defeat, and I know that I can't let this or him keep a hold over me for the rest of my life. I did spend the rest of the lecture shaking quite a lot (but I didn't have a full-on panic attack), & at the end, I really didn't get very far out of the room before my legs just REFUSED to go any further, so I sat on some stairs...I did chat with my lecturer about it for a while, but my Tuesday, I was fine about it all. I think it was just that lecture triggered a few things that I didn't really know were there...

Zosh, you are great, you know, & I love you to bits! Keep going hun; you are amazing...I'm always here for you if you need me...& we can phone each other FREE now! How exciting!

OK, I really think I may have done enough procrastination, & should probably go & get some breakfast, & then do an essay plan - oh joy!