Right, here commences my thoughts on the letter about the Collaboration of men and women in the Church. There was quite a lot that I agreed with, but also some that I didn't agree with.

"A first tendency is to emphasize strongly conditions of subordination in order to give rise to antagonism: women, in order to be themselves, must make themselves the adversaries of men. Faced with the abuse of power, the answer for women is to seek power."

This was a bit that I didn't really like that much. I think that the "conditions of subordination" should be taken notice of - if not so much in the Western world, then in developing countries where women are made subordinate - for example, think of China where female babies are sometimes left to die because they are not boys (and yes, I know that it's far more complicated than that, but that's more or less what it boils down to). Or, a less extreme example can be found even in Britain and America, where women are still paid significantly less than men for doing the same jobs. To some extent, I also want to question whether women are trying to make themselves the adversaries of men, or whether women are trying to free themselves from patriarchalisation (and not necessarily men). I think it is also important to consider whether it is power, or empowerment that women are generally seeking - there is a subtle, but significant difference.

OK - now a bit that I agree with:

"...the identity and role of one are emphasised to the disadvantage of the other, leading to harmful confusion regarding the human person..."

While I think that it's important that everyone is entitled to develop their own identity and role in life, I do think that sometimes, this can go to far, and become destructive.

"In order to avoid the domination of one sex or the other, their differences tend to be denied, viewed as mere effects of historical and cultural conditioning."

OK, while I agree with this to an extent - there obviously are differences between the sexes - I do think that cultural and historical conditioning has a lot to answer for with regard to perceived differences; for example, for a long time, it was not thought that women had an 'appropriate consitution' for working, or making decisions or judgments.

"...it strengthens the idea that the liberation of women entails criticism of Sacred Scripture, which would be seen as handing on a patriarchal conception of God nourished by an essentially male dominated culture."

This, I do not agree with. For a start, there are women in the Bible who I believe are great symbols of the strength of women. Mary is the most obvious one - she was the mother of God; no man could really claim to be the father of God, not even Joseph. There is also Ruth - a Moabite, and therefore, a woman without status... However, she left everything she had - her family, her home, and her religion, to go with Naomi, when she knew that she would be seen as a foreigner, and would have to change the way that she lived. I think she was an immensely brave woman. Then there's the Samaritan woman at the well. She was obviously fairly knowledgeable, her conversation with Jesus indicates that she was no simpleton. She also seemed to command a certain amount of respect from other villagers, who listened to what she had to say about Jesus. Jesus also first revealed himself to women after the resurrection. I think that it's possible to strive for the liberation of women, and give Scripture its rightful place.

"...this tendency would consider as lacking in importance and relevance the fact that the Son of God assumed human nature in its male form."

To be honest, I was a little puzzled by this. It is undeniable that Jesus was a man. He had to be either man or woman, and couldn't physically be both. I think it is important that Jesus was a man, but I also think that it's important to note that Mary, Jesus' mother was a woman. Like Jesus, she couldn't physically have been male and female. I think that Mary is a woman whom we should celebrate. God didn't have to use a woman to put Jesus on earth, and so I think it has a lot to say for Mary that God chose to use her.

"'God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them' (Gen 1:27)...humanity is described and articulated in the male-female relationship. This is the humanity sexually differentiated, which is explicitly declared 'the image of God'."

This, I liked. To me, this advocates the equal respect due to men and women, and the recognition due to them as being created in the image and form of God.

"...Adam, experienced a loneliness which the presence of the animals is not able to overcome. He needs a helpmate who will be his partner. The term here does not refer to an inferior, but to a vital helper. This is so that Adam's life does not sink into a sterile and, in the end, baneful encounter with himself. It is necessary that he enter into relationship...Only the woman, created from the same "flesh" and cloaked in the same mystery, can give a future to the life of the man... God's creation of woman characterises humanity as a relational reality."

This, I also liked. To me, this says that Eve was every bit as important as Adam.

"...woman, in her deepest and original being, exists 'for the other' (cf. 1 Cor 11:9): this is a statement which, far from any sense of alienation, expresses a fundamental aspect of the similarity with the Triune God, whose Persons, with the coming of Christ, are revealed as being in a communion of love, each for the others."

I am a little wary of this. God exists for perfect God, and so cannot be exploited or abused. Humans are not perfect, or in so close a unity as the Trinity. So, in my view, this could be a dangerous view from a human perspective, and raises questions such as whether abuse should be tolerated simply for someone else...

"Original sin changes the way in which the man and the woman receive and live the Word of God as well as their relationship with the Creator...when humanity considers God its enemy, the relationship between man and woman becomes distorted."

To me, this implies that the way things are between men and women now is not what God intended. The relationship between men and women is not "right", and so it needs changing. Liberation of women might be the way to go, but there is a chance that it's not.

"'Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you' (Gen 3:16). It will be a relationship in which love will frequently be debased into pure self-seeking, in a relationship which ignores and kills love and replaces it with the yoke of domination of one sex over the other...In this tragic situation, the equality, respect and love that are required in the relationship of man and woman according to God's original plan are lost."

Is this saying, then, that God created sexism?!

"Man is a person, man and woman equally so, since both were created in the image and likeness of the personal God."

Oh, good!

"'Sexuality characterises man and woman not only on the physical level, but also on the psychological and spiritual, making its mark on each of their expressions'. It cannot be reduced to a pure and insignifican biological fact..."

To an extent, I agree with this. But, I believe that it's still possible for men and women to have similar characteristics, and that, like the differences, these should not be minimalised.

"...the relationship is good, but wounded and in need of healing."

I am in total agreement with this.

I also like the bit where the importance of Mary is talked about at some length. It's too long to quote all that I like, but it's a lot of it, and maybe especially the bit about Mary's role in the wedding at Cana narrative. The stuff about the role of women in Paul's writings is also pretty cool, but again, too long to quote.

"...women preserve the deep intuition of the goodness in their lives of those actions which elicit life, and contibute to the growth and protection of the other."

My question here, is whether men can have this 'role' too? I think they can, and that to say that they can't is foolish and false.

"Although motherhood is a key element of women's identity, this does not mean that women should be considered from the sole perspective of physical procreation. In this area, there can be serious distortions, which extol biological fecundity in purely quantitative terms and are often accompanied by dangerous disprespect for women."

I liked this bit. It very clearly makes the point that women are not just baby machines, and after this bit, the importance of the Christian vocation of virginity is brought up too. This seems to remove attempts to give women a "mere biological destiny", and I think that's great! Later, there is also talk of the importance of the role and presence of women in the world of work, and in the organisation of society, which is good.

"As John Paul II has written, 'it willl redound to the credit of society to make it possible for a mother - without inhibiting her freedom, without psychological or practical discrimination and without penalising her as compared with other women - to devote herself to taking care of her children and educating them in accordance with their needs, which vary with age."

When I first read this, my thought was 'but what about enabling women to work?!', and it wasn't until I read a critique of the letter that I realised that this is far more relevant in developing countries where women work immensely long hours for very little money to try to sustain their family, than for women in the developed world, who generally have life far easier than that.

I liked the way in which it was made clear that the Church is a community, requiring the input of women and men; I also like the recognition that Mary is a fundamental reference in the Church.

"...the way of Christ is neither one of domination (cf. Phil. 2:6) nor of power as understood by the world (cf. Jn 18:36)."

I think that this is very important for the Christian community; if we strive to become more Christ-like - which we should be doing - then we will become closer to achieving a relationship between men and women that is "right" in the eyes of God; an equal relationship between men and women is shown to be the way of Christ.

"...one understands how the reservation of priestly ordination solely to men does not hamper in any way women's access to the heart of Christian life."

Well, I must say that I don't understand this. There has been so much good stuff said about women in the letter, and then this. I don't see why women shouldn't be priests. Perhaps I shouldn't say that, with wanting to be a nun, but it's what I think.

(All of the quotes above - ie. the bits in green - are from the Letter on the Collaboration of Men and Women in the Chruch, May 31st, 2004.)

Now, for the criticisms of the letter....

The one which branded the letter as disturbing (James' blog has a link to it somewhere...), I thought was silly. I don't think it was a disturbing letter. I also think the descriptions that this criticism gives of the letter were very over the top, totally blown out of proportion, and taken out of context. Not worth the time and energy it takes to read it, in my opinion.

I agree more with the article from the Tablet, which was much nicer about the letter, though obviously also had some criticism of it.

"Such observations could only be made by men who have no significant relationship with women and no knowledge of the enormous positive changes the women's rights movement has meant for both men and women."

I thought that this was, maybe, a little scathing, but I can see the point here. The letter talked about the importance and value of women in society and in the Church, but was there a woman involved in the writing of the letter? Well, no. Practise what you preach, gentlemen!

"The document was likely spurred on by the Church's desire to prevent the women in the Church and in the world (saying what they have to say) about feminism and gender."

I don't think so!

"... to damn this document as objectionable, chauvinist, and outdated, is crass. A thorough read reveals some surprising, and welcome thoughts."

Yes! I agree with this...

"A pity then, that the document does not give credit to the people who first began interpreting the Creation story in theis way - feminist theologians. A pity, too, that the document does not follow its own them - collaboration... And a pity too, for all the Vatican's increasingly enlightened thinking on the role of women in the world, its more familiar prejudices come shining through in its attitude to women in the Church itself."

I think that this is a very valid point, and is worth consideration.

"...there is no reason why more women cannot be appointed to senior positions in the Church, where priesthood is not a prerequisite."

I think that this is also very valid, and I think that this is something that should happen. Women should be senior in the Church.

(Since my last comment of this kind, the quotes - in green - are from an article in the Tablet by C Pepinster.)

OK, so there you have them, my thoughts on the Letter!

Today, I'm hungry, so yet again, I am not writing about the letter. Slapped wrist for me.

I have an appointment in Oxford (eyes again) in 3 weeks. The usual waiting list is 13 weeks, so 3 is pretty good going. I'm a bit nervous, but hopefully this time won't be a repeat of last time.

I think that at the start of term, I'm going to find it very hard to go back to the Chaplaincy - in some ways, I'm missing it a lot, and there have been times when I've been getting excited because it's only 5 weeks til the 1st Mass of the (academic) year... In other ways, though, I'm really going to miss Sacred Heart...

5 weeks today, & I won't have to get up for work!! How cool is that?!

I will eventually get around to telling you what I think about the letter on the collaboration of men and women in the Church - I promise! I've just had so little time and energy to do stuff recently...

This week, I've worked quite a lot, which is good, as it means that I get a rather bigger than usual pay cheque next week...

At the moment, I'm missing Maria a lot - she's been in Indonesia for a month now, and has about 6 weeks left until she comes back. Please could you pray for her - that it's going well, & that she's OK...(I haven't heard from her while she's been there, because she's staying somewhere very remote, so I'm just having to trust that God is keeping her safe...)

Today, I worked. I did lots of cleaning. I guess it's all part of being a cleaner. I think the oven cleaner's making holes in my hands though. I don't think that's a good thing.

Last night, I spoke to Zosh on the phone. I like phones... Most of the people I've been around all summer are blokes, and they don't seem to just chat as much as girls, so it was nice to chat to another girl.

I have to go home and finish reading Night Watch (Terry Pratchett) as I have to take it back to the library tomorrow. I like Terry Pratchett books, though I don't think Night Watch is his best. I prefer The Truth, or Equal Rites, or really any where Granny Weatherwax plays a large role! She rocks.

I am very silly. I went to my doctor with the primary intention of telling her what my consultant said on Thursday, but then forgot, and talked about my not so important reasons for going to see her instead. D'oh!

Today I got my letter from the orthopaedics department at the hospital, saying that I can have an appointment for my knee. Oh good. It went on to say that they will write to me again around 6 weeks before my appointment, and that it may be 17 weeks before I get an appointment. Not so good. That's like in December.

Today, I also had my hair cut. It's all short(ish). I like it. It goes a bit spiky/flicky at the back, which is cool.

Tomorrow, I'm going all the way to Warwick for an appointment with my eye consultant. My train's at 8:23 in the morning. I'm hoping that he'll actually do something, as I'll not be happy if he doesn't.

I had lots of thoughts about the letter about the collaboration of men and women in the Church (James mentioned it on his blog. Go there and follow his link). I didn't like the criticism of it that James didn't like. I thought it was over-critical, and sometimes wrongly critical.

I have things that I don't like much about the letter, but I have things that I like a lot, but I'm kind of tired now, so will write about them when I have more time and energy.

My brother's been here for a week, and goes home tomorrow. It's been good to have him here, though a week was long enough.

On Thursday, I have my appointment with my eye consultant, which I'm sort of looking forward to, as I feel that he has to do something, and will not let him get away with doing nothing.

On Saturday, I went to the zoo. I like the zoo.

Yesterday, we went to the beach. It was a bit rainy, but the beach is good in any weather.

I also introduced my brother to Devon Cream Teas - he was well impressed.

Well, my brother's here, with his girlfriend. They're quite sweet, and not really boyfriend & girlfriend-y - they're more just like friends...

There's been no washing up done in my house for ages. The bathroom hasn't been cleaned for ages either. I was waiting to see whether my housemates would do either of these things, but evidently not, as last time either of the said things were done, I did them.

It's kind of cool having my brother here, but kind of tough too...I'm realising how un-normal my life at home was. I don't see how I could have ever thought it was normal. You see, at the moment, I'm living with 2 13 year olds who are living with v abusive mothers...My brother doesn't seem to get it quite as bad as I did, but he gets it bad enough. He said that he hasn't been hit for a couple of months, but when that last happened, he had his head slammed in a door, and on a kitchen work top...That kind of thing used to happen to me at least a couple of times a week, and I used to just accept it as a normal part of life...

Well, I have a weekend off work. That's not actually a good thing. It means I've only worked 4 days this week, so haven't earned as much as usual.
 
Yesterday was quite a long day though - I worked for 6 hours...2 of them were spent cleaning up vomit. It was not nice. Today wasn't quite so bad...
 
Well, as I suspected, my grandmother had not sent my hospital appointment to me as soon as she should have done. I phoned the hospital, and my appointment should have been on the 19th of July. She can't even use the excuse that my post got lost, as she didn't post it til after that any way. So, my appointment is now on the 12th of August, so almost a month later. Thanks grandma.
 
Other than that, not much exciting is going on. I'm going out drinking tonight, & then on Sunday, I'm going to do a pub quiz at the Great Western with Mark and Dan and Norris...And my brother is coming on Monday night.
 
Please could you pray for my friend Paul (as in the one who came to Dartmoor with us) and his family, as his 4 year old nephew has leukemia...

Today is my day off work. Always a good thing...So, I didn't wake up until 8:45 this morning, which was just fab!
 
If you could all pray for Maria, that'd be great - she's flying to Indonesia today - she's a bit nervous...She's going to be there for just over 2 months working with a religious community there. I'm going to miss her loads...
 
I saw my social worker today too. She lent me a knife with a guard, so that I don't cut myself when I'm chopping things - Ella can borrow it too, if it'd help! I also have a signature guide, so that I can find where I have to sign on a receipt when I pay with my Switch card, & I have a white cane, so that when I'm out and about, I can use it if I need to. At the moment, I can't use it cos of the crutches, but it's in my bag anyway, as I'm trying to get used to the idea of having it.
 
I have also been summoned for jury service, which I'm not all that thrilled about. It's also very frustrating that my grandmother only posted my jury service letter to me yesterday, & I got it today, but my other post - which probably included a long awaited hospital appointment - that she posted last week, is still floating around somewhere between Southam and here...So, now I have to find my hospital's phone number, phone them, speak to about 6 different people to try to find out when my appointment is, probably to be told that I've missed it already. The joy.
 
There's a very big fly buzzing around. I can see it's legs & wings and everything. Usually, I can just see a black blob, but this one I can see in some detail. I've decided that just seeing a black blob where there's a fly is no great loss. After seeing this one, flies strike me as very ugly creatures.

My brother is thinking of buying my laptop off me, since I can't really use it any more, cos I can't see it & my new computer's better any way. It also works out a bit cheaper for him, as although I want some money, I don't want as much as computer companies do.
 
I'm thinking of buying a digital camera with the money he gives me for it - then I can join the world of James!

Well, today I finished work early, which is nice. I didn't have to be wicked witch of the west supervisor either, as I got a whole floor to myself, and didn't have to talk to anyone else all morning. Bonus.
 
Last night, I went to the Great Western with Mark, Norris and Dan. Mark, one minute was pretty sober, and the next was pretty unsober. It was funny. He just sat there sort of happily grinning at everyone.
 
Yesterday, I did a bit of sale shopping. It was fun. I bought a belt, so that my jeans don't fall down, and I bought a top, and a couple of other things too - & some fruit. I bought raspberries, cherries & nectarines. Fruit is good.

Well, today I have been at work. Again, I will be going to Saturday evening Mass, as I am working again tomorrow. Work today wasn't too bad. Only 4 hours - though I did have to send a girl home for just not doing as she was told, and telling me I'm not a supervisor. Grr.
 
Yesterday, I didn't work. It was my day off, & I went to Yeovil with L-T & did some dissertation research. It was fun.
 
Next week, my 13 year old brother is coming to stay. My mother is not taking him (or the 15 year old) on holiday, so I said that he could come & stay with me instead, even if Exeter isn't so much fun as Cyprus. He's coming for a week. I thought that he was bringing his friend Rob, which I was fine with, but last night, my mother informed me that he is, in fact, bringing his girlfriend. I'm not so enthralled with that one. But I didn't argue, since if I refuse to let him come with his girlfriend, he won't get a holiday at all.
 
My mother is also letting the 15 year old work all holiday. She doesn't see anything wrong with a 15 year old working at least 18 hours a week all summer. I'm afraid that I do. I think he should have at least one week off. I have my suspicions that he's actually working a lot more that 18 hours a week, which I wouldn't have thought is legal. So, any way, the 15 year old is not really having a proper holiday of any description this year. My mother is going to Cyprus with my step dad, my youngest brother & sister, and my 17 year old brother, who I'm sure will get the same joyous job that I did last year - that of babysitting. I'm thinking I'm far better away from it all. My mother's excuse for not taking the 15 & 13 year olds is that they don't behave at school; I personally think that it's because they'd cramp her style. She likes to have her cute little daughter (my 4 year old sister) and someone old enough to babysit around. My 4 year old sister is cute, & everyone loves her, so she's good, but she does need looking after, so a babysitter is good, so long as they don't talk or go anywhere near my mother, because then she can get on with doing her stuff, & ignoring all of her children, except when she wants something. So, any way, as usual, I'm not overly impressed with her.
 
I have my minidisc recorder. It's cool. It has a voice activation thingy, so that I can set it so that it only records when someone's talking. That's pretty funky!
 
Other than working, and dissertation research, and seeing my social worker, I'm not really doing much this week; so, like most people, my life's not v exciting right now.

Well, either today or tomorrow, I should have my minidisc recorder - yay!
 
Today, I worked with the same slow people as yesterday. Today, it took them 4 hours to clean a kitchen. It should have taken them an hour at most. While they did that, I stripped 12 beds, made 12 beds, emptied bins, cleaned 12 rooms, hoovered the whole flat, cleaned 2 toilets, 1 shower, 1 laundry room and one bathroom. Thankfully, I was sent to clean the flat with them at 9:00 this morning. If they had been alone, there would be a conference wanting to move in now, but they'd have no beds made, no rooms cleaned, or anything like that, because between them the other 2 may have  managed to clean 1 toilet.
 
This afternoon, I am meeting with 3 nuns for afternoon tea. It's kind of exciting.
 
Then, I'm doing nothing til tomorrow, when I will be working, and then spending the afternoon doing dissertation research, as I do on a Thursday.

Well, today I worked as usual. This week I'm thinking I might earn lots of money. I have been working 6 hours a day so far, & that means about £30 a day, which is nice.
 
I want a witch's hat. I had to do a mean wicked witch of the west supervisor talk today. There were 2 girls working on a floor of Lafrowda, and it took them 2 hours to make 6 beds and hoover 6 rooms. How? That's my question. So, I had to kind of tell them to get a move on, and how it really shouldn't have taken them that long, and were they sure that they had been actually working for the full 2 hours?!
 
Don't really know what I'm doing for the rest of today...Maybe some dissertation research, but I'm not sure.
 
Going home for food sounds a good plan. I need some printer paper & some food too, so I may have to go into town later.
 
I have chocolate hobnobs in my room...A whole packet! Mmmm - they're great.

Finally, the Italians have gone! They were annoying, they were everywhere, they were messy, and they were 15. It wasn't good. They finally moved out this morning - hooray! But, that did only leave us with about 4 hours to clean up their mess, and get all of the rooms ready for a conference, which just happens to be the Plymouth, Portsmouth, and Clifton Diocese conference, so we're hoping that as they're all nice Catholic types, they won't be quite so messy as Italian 15 year olds. I think the least that we can hope for is that they don't wet the bed, and that they don't use their showers as toilets (yes, the Italians did do both of these things).
 
I now have enough money to buy my minidisc recorder! Yay!! My LEA do buy it, but I have to buy it and then send them a receipt, and before now, I haven't had enough money (well, overdraft), to buy it, but now I do! So, I can buy it, and then send the receipt to my LEA, and they put the money back into my bank. Pretty cool, methinks!

I'm confused. I'm working. I'm supposedly earning money, but I never actually have any money.
 
Thankfully, I do have a cheque to pay into the bank, and should have another one on Thursday (wages) that between them cover my rent for the month. Always good. That gives me 2 weeks of the month to actually earn some money that won't just get spent straight away. That's a good thing. It means I'll have enough money to eat, and stuff too!
 
I need some chocolate. I always need chocolate after work (I've been working today), so I'm off to find some. Mmmmmmmm, chocolate!

I am still on crutches...The physiotherapist wouldn't take them away, but he did give me one with a hand rest the right way round for my left hand, so it doesn't hurt my hand/arm quite so much when I'm using them any more.

I met Rob's & Zosia's mummies! Yay!

I have to have keyhole surgery on my knee, to see if they can file down the ripped cartilage - doesn't sound much fun...But I guess if it stops it hurting, it's not too bad. I don't know how long it'll be til I get that though, and I could end up being on crutches til then...

Today is my day off work. Days off are good. I am working at the weekend though, but that does mean lots of money for me - always a good thing!

Well, I hate not having internet in my house. It means I have to come to campus to use it. It also means that it's really hard for me to see the computers, so I have to touchtype, and just hope that I'm not making too many spelling mistakes, as I can't see what's on the screen.

Hopefully, I will be getting rid of my crutches tomorrow. I have bruises on one arm from using them, & a big red mark on the other. They're also a pain when I need to carry anything.

I now have a social worker-y-type lady to help me with stuff to do with my eyes. She's nice. I now have orange stickers on things like the cooker & washing machine so that I know which settings are the ones that I use. She is, however, going to bring a white cane with her next time so I can have a look at it & decide whether I want one. I can't say that I'm to enthralled with the idea.

My pay has gone up. I'm now on £4.90 an hr as opposed to £4.55. Yay! I'm now also the supervisor of the casual staff! Yay again! Last week, I was doing a bit of supervisor type work, and asked some people to do something again, but they got cross, & told me that I wasn't worth as much as them, as I wasn't getting paid as much, and that I was only an undergrad...I'm now on the same money as them - they're all postgrads, and are inbetween 3 & 8 yrs older than me, and so were in the pay bracket above me, because they're older...But now, because I'm me(!) I get paid the same, & it's my job to tell them to do things again if they're not good enough...

I'm still finding Exeter kind of strange due to the general lack of people...But, I'm glad that I didn't go home for the summer. On Friday, I went to the Artful Dodger - it's nice, & cheap! On Sunday, Mark, Norris & I went to the Cowley - we wanted to do the pub quiz, but there wasn't one.

Does anyone know anything much about Canon Law? Do I have to pay off my student loan before I can make my vows as a Sister?

Please could you all pray...My great uncle hanged himself last week...I hadn't had any contact with him for 5 years - he's my father's uncle - but him & my great aunt sent me birthday cards until I was 16, so 5 years longer than any one else in my father's family, and because of that they've always been kind of special...So, prayers really would be appreciated...

Well, this is all a bit silly. I've been blogging, but it appears that my new blog entries aren't being published - at least I can't see them if they are?!

Well, it's a bit quiet in Exeter, but hey! Exeter's better than home. I saw a physiotherapist yesterday about my knee. As we really already knew, I do not have a pulled hamstring - I do have a torn ligament & possibly some cartilage damage, but my knee's too painful & inflamed for the physio to work out exactly what is wrong, so I have crutches to try to help things a bit. Hopefully I won't be on them for too long, as I have bruises on one hand and blisters on the other. I also have really bruised arms. Ah well, at least they're stopping my knee from being quite so painful!

Other than knees, work & dissertation, I haven't really been doing much. Going out for a drink for the 1st time since the end of term tonight!

Well, all is pretty quiet in Exeter. Most people have gone home, leaving just a few of the hardcore. It's very weird without Zosh & James. It will also be very weird not having Mass & CathSoc tonight.

This week, I have been cleaning. It's not too bad, but it is tiring. I have cleaned lots. Now, though, I'm not being sent off to help other cleaners, I'm being given other people to help me. It's cool. I have also been visiting a friend in hospital. She's as OK as you really can be when you need to be in hospital.

Other than that, I am still waiting for my pay cheque to clear, as I have no money until that happens - & the content of my cupboard is nothing worth writing about.

Other than work, I have been doing dissertation research. It's quite exciting really. I get to read cool books & speak to cool people.

Well, there's really not much more for me to say. What with no Mark at the moment either, I haven't been having many adventures...

Well, it's the last day of term, which means that pretty soon lots of cool people are disappearing.

I'm not disappearing, as I'm staying in Exeter all summer. Most of my time will be spent cleaning and doing dissertation research. At some point, I will be going home for a weekend or two, I'll probably also go to stay with my step dad in London, go to Wales for a weekend, & Barnstaple.

Today, work was easy. I did portering rather than cleaning, & it was a doss. Tomorrow won't be though. Tomorrow, we start spring cleaning after the students have left. Yay! No more grotty student kitchens to clean.

I have now added an infected finger and a potentially infected foot to my painful knee. My foot keeps weeping, but I have a plaster on it, & my finger appears to have a hole in it. The Theology Department Secretary told me to soak it in warm salt water, so I did. That got quite a lot of pus & blood out. I have a plaster on my finger too now.

I think that I'll go back to the Health Centre & see a nurse about my knee, my foot, and my finger next week...

THE STORY OF THE SUMMER BALL.
(Edited by me. Boring bits not included.)

I got ready for the ball at Zosh's last night. There is still no hot water in my house. At least not until tomorrow. By then, we will have been without hot water for seven days. I wore a pretty dress, and makeup and everything.

Just before 8:00 - after James had taken some photos, & we had shown Paul and Karen our outfits - we trooped off up to the Great Hall.

We started off by sitting in the Ram Gardens with 3 pints of Pimms and lomonade between us. By the time that we went for drinks, there were no jugs left, so we had to have 3 pint glasses instead.

Within 45 minutes Zosh had been asked on a date.

Later, we went inside, & listed to Collin Murray dj-ing. He was good. After that, it was time for Supergrass. They were great & we were right at the front. The disadvantage of this was that we did get pushed really hard. In it's turn, this locked my knee; so, Zosh and I had an expedition to the St John's Ambulance post. They were great. They took me to A&E in an ambulance. The ambulance was fun. I didn't really know whether to laugh or cry though. It was hilariously funny, but I was in so much pain!

At A&E, I got to have gas & air so that the doctor could manipulate my knee to make it move again. That hurt a lot. It moves now though; however, it is painful.

After A&E, Zosh & I went back to the ball. At 3:30am, we had full english breakfast - though not as good as James'!

For the Survivors' photo, Zosh, Jen, Tessa and I were right in the middle. It was great.

After the Ball, I went back to the Chaplaincy. Zosh went to bed, but I was going to sit downstairs with coffee & read a Terry Pratchett book...I managed 3 lines of it. The next thing I knew, it was 8:00, & I had to get up to go to work.

I went to the doctor today, like the hospital man told me to. I was told to make the doctor refer me to a physio. He wasn't keen on that. He also told me all I've done is pull my hamstring - I'm not too sure. I think it's my knee. Ah well...

Soon, I get my exam results. I'm very tired, & falling asleep. Possibly the best way for me right now...I'm very nervous...

Woohoo - this is my 100th post.

Today, it was Zosh's last Sunday Mass. I managed to hold back the tears til the Homily - though I had come close before that! From the Homily onwards, I cried a lot - especially when it came to doing the announcements at the end. If anybody understood what I said, it's a miracle!!!

Karen cooked pizzas today - thank you Karen!!! They were great - especially the "Karen Special"!

Zosh had bought presents for everyone - to say goodbye - they were great. I got a BIG Little Miss Sunshine book, & a silver cross - it's soo pretty.

After Mass, we had committee photos taken - I don't like photos, but as far as photo "sessions" go, this one wasn't bad.

My Grandparents are in Devon until Thursday. They're staying in Paignton though, so there is some distance between us. I love them a lot, but I'm quite independent, and my grandmother sometimes treats me like I'm still a little girl...I don't like that much. But, it's good that I get to see them. They're taking Zosh & me out for a meal tonight, which is nice.

For the past 4 days - 4 days!! - there has been NO HOT WATER in my house!! It's horrid. Now, when we hear screams of agony from the bathroom, we know it's because someone has decided that just maybe a cold shower is better than a cold strip wash. It's not. Cold strip washes aren't nice, but they're better than a cold shower. Yesterday, I went to the Chaplaincy for a shower - they have hot water.

Also at my house, we seem to have had no internet for 4 days. It's not good. It's just stopped working. So, I'm on campus using a computer that I can't really actually see, so I apologise for any typos that have resulted from that.

Yesterday, James, Mark, Amy, Zosh & I went on the rail ale trail. It was fun, though we didn't get to all of the pubs. I left a bit earlier than the rest of them though, as we were having a "goodbye" meal for my housemate, who is spending next year in Italy - I've been saying goodbye to so many people! However, I would have had to wait for an hour for the next train back from Crediton, so decided to walk in the general direction of Exeter until I found a bus stop with a bus timetable. As it was already 6pm, I decided that I'd do Scouts' Pace (20 paces of running, 20 of walking, repeat process...)...It took me a long time to find a bus stop with a bus timetable, so I ended up doing this for half an hour - in other words, all the way to Newton St Cyres. This morning, the muscles in my legs were a bit achy because of that!

Tomorrow, it's the summer ball. I'm v excited. Zosh looks lovely in her dress...I haven't tried my dress, shawl and shoes all on together yes, so I'm hoping they look OK.

I guess I'd better go home now, as I have to get ready to go out before my grandparents come & pick me up!

Well, it's aaaaaaages since I blogged.

On Saturday, we went for a retreat, but James & Zosh have already said lots about that, so I won't.

Mass on Sunday was good. But, I guess that I can't actually think of a BAD Mass. Music went well & everything.

It was v hard saying goodbye to Rachel...& to Georgia - but she'll be back in January, so it's not too bad...It's so hard saying goodbye to people...I'm dreading Zosia's last Mass...I'm going to cry...A lot!

Yesterday, I started my summer job - cleaning in Lafrowda/St Germans/Rowe House. It's not actually too bad - although I do have different coloured gloves, mops, buckets & cloths for different areas of the flats...It's quite funny really! We were also issued with a face mask - which the Chinese people I've been working with actually wear! - and goggles!!! It's so funny. Yesterday, 5 of us cleaned 2 kitchens. 1 of them was gross. What really got to me was scrubbing LUMPS of fat off the cooker hood. The other one wasn't too bad. Today the 5 of us were sent to do 3 kitchens, & to spring clean 2 bedrooms. While 4 of them did 2 kitchens between them, I spring cleaned both on-suite bedrooms, & we all cleaned the last kitchen.

Then, I went shopping with Zosh - it was great. We actually achieved our aim of buying shoes & shawls for the summer ball - it's so exciting! We also bought other stuff. I got a dress from H&M for the great price of £5!! It was a great day!

I'm v proud of my little - well, younger - brother. He's doing a diploma in Sports & Exercise Science at college. Last week, his tutor got his whole course group into a lecture room, & had a right go at them...saying how no-one had passed their assignment, and how they had all shown a complete lack of commitment and effort...By this point, my brother was getting fairly worried, as he knows my Mum & Grandma would not be happy if he didn't do well at college - he's not the most academic chap & hated school - & even though he's done really well so far, he was still scared...However, the tutor then went onto an "except"...No-one had passed the assignment, except for my brother(!!) who got a merit - so I'm well proud of him!

Everything's really quite exciting!

Well, yesterday we went to the zoo. As promised, no one stopped me from getting the 9:25 train. Rob & I thought that the others would text or phone when they got there, but they didn't, & apparently, they thought that we should have been meeting them. Ah well, never mind. A good day was had by all. Rob & I didn't go on the train, but then, we didn't want to. We thought we should leave that to all of the toddlers there yesterday.

We didn't get the "face-to-face" encounter with the cheetah either - but we did see a zoo keeper climb a tree. We were confused, so when he came down, we asked him why. Apparently, there's a pair of owls that have been there for 6 years, & they've just had chicks for the 1st time!!!

We saw baby meerkats too. They were sweet.

For the bbq, I made LOTS of salad. I was expecting HUNDREDS of people, but there really weren't that many, so there was too much salad. I did some cooking too. My bbq stayed really hot - thanks Paul...Paul's good at making bbqs really hot.

Today, I've caused a ruccus in Theology - I need an ethics thing so I can do my dissertation research. Thing is, the Ethics person's on sabbatical, and no-one ever needs an ethics thing to do a Theology dissertation. So, then I had to go to Classics, as there's now only a School Ethics person...Now, Classics only really deal with dead people & things like excavations, so they use very different ethics things to the kind of thing I need...It's all so confusing!

Well, now I've suitably confused myself & all of you, I'm going to stop.

Hmm... I think it's about time I blogged, since I haven't since before my last exam...

The exams are over!! Yay!!! I feel that I can write that today, since by 5:15, everyone will be finished, and there will be a nice glass of white wine waiting in the Ram for Zosh.

Since the end of my exams, I've been pretty much permanently hyperactive...But I think that's OK - I'm just so happy that they're done! I have gone back to trying to function normally - have even washed some clothes! I also have to tidy my room before Friday, as my best friend from home is coming down to visit!!! Yay - I'm so excited - Paul's great...He's even bringing his flute to play in Mass on Sunday!!

On Friday, after my exam, I spent almost 10 hours in the Ram. It was great. Today, I'm also going to the Ram...Then, we're going to a CathSoc meeting about the retreat that we're not going on - drunk!! Then, it's house party at James' house...Drinkage, drinkage, drinkage!

Tomorrow, we're going to the zoo - I'm so excited. 9:25 train sounds the best plan. I don't get hangovers & I'm great in the morning. No one shall stop ME getting the 9:25 train!! HAHAHAHA

Some point this week, Zosh & I are going shopping...& having a liquid lunch! Yay - more drinkage.

Well, weren't England silly on Sunday? Giving away 2 goals in the 90th minute?!! Ha! I'm glad I didn't watch it. Everyone went to the Chaplaincy to watch the 2nd half, but Rob & I went to James' house. Rob sat downstairs with Dan and watched the football, & I sat upstairs & played Tetris on Rob's computer. After that, Mark having given us the taste for madventure, Rob & I went madventuring. We walked up past Duryard, & then walked the same way as another madventure, but went up Bellevue Road...We walked & walked up the dark path of doom, & eventually came to the top of the hill...Then, there was a Private Road, so we turned around & walked all the way back down the hill...Then, we just walked to my house.

Yesterday, we went madventuring to Lafrowda ponds. It was nice, but I have lots of bites & I'm not as sensible as Ella - I don't use midgy repellent!

Today, I haven't really done much, apart from make my mother into an alien life form & throw her into orbit!!! I'll let you dwell on that one...

I'm not quite sure what you'd call this...I don't think it's really a poem. But anyway, I wrote it. Hope you like it!


The day has come
When my fate will be decided.
Today is the day that I will fight
The hardest battle.

The day has come
To test my strength and wisdom.
It is on this day that
I must win.

The day has come
And I must not let it defeat me.
Today, I must prepare myself well,
And battle hard.

The day has come
And I will fight a good fight.
But it is only time that will tell
Of my victory.

The day has come
And I will try to maintain courage.
I must not be a coward
And run.

The day has come
And I will walk into the exam room.
I must remember that this is not
The end of the world.

I still hold that female imagery of God is useful. God cannot be thoroughly portrayed in male terms.

Personification of Wisdom:
Proverbs 8:1-2:
"Does not wisdom call out? Does not understanding raise her voice? On the heights along the way, where the paths meet, she takes her stand..."

Proverbs 8:22-26 (& following that too):
"The LORD brought forth as the first of his works, before his deeds of old; I was appointed from eternity, from the beginning, before the world began. When there were no oceans, I was given birth, when there were no springs abounding with water; before the mountains were settled in place, before the hills, I was given birth, before he made the earth of its fields of any of the dust of the world."

These are both evident personifications of Wisdom/Sophia, & they both portray her as female. The Wisdom spoken about here is clearly not just an attribute of God; this Wisdom has been with God since before the earth was formed, and is a personification in its own right.

Wisdom 8:1:
"She reaches mightily from one end of the earth to the other, and she orders all things well."

This is pretty obviously another personification of Wisdom...

Wisdom 9:9-10:
"With thee is wisdom, who knows thy works and was present when thou didst make the world, and who understands what is pleasing in thy sight and what is right according to thy commandments. Send her forth from the holy heavens, and from the throne of thy glory send her, that she may be with me and toil, and that I may learn what is pleasing to thee."

More personification. Note that Wisdom is not just an attribute of God here, but dwells in heaven with God, and can be sent separately...Maybe this could be the Holy Spirit?

I do not think that it is right to say that God is to be spoken about as Father because that's how God is revealed to us - Alistar McGrath:
"To speak of God as Father is to say that the role of father in ancient Israel allows us insights into the nature of God, not that God is a male human being. Neither male nor female sexuality is to be attributed to God."

If male nor female sexuality are to be attributed to God, then surely, there is room for qualities from both sexes to be metaphorically applied when talking about the nature of God. In applying metaphors of both sexes, it embraces all of God's people, rather than serving to exclude them.

Throughout the Bible, the Holy Spirit is consistently female. This originates in the Old Testament writings.

Often, divine Wisdom is associated with the Holy Spirit. Wisdom is often spoken of as having been with God for all time (see above); Genesis 1:2:
"Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters."

This has strong resonances with Proverbs 8, where Wisdom is personified as having been with God in Creation, & is shown as a 'she'.

I still maintain that female imagery is valuable & applicable when talking about God. I also think that male imagery is good in talking about God too, so I don't want to dismiss that entirely - I just think that there are other ways too.

IS GOD JUST "OUR FATHER"?

I don't think so...I think that God is equally "OUR MOTHER".

I guess probably the best place to start would be in Scripture...

(Deutero- [there's 3 of them!]) Isaiah:
42:14 - "For a long time I have kept silent, I have been quiet and held myself back. But now, like a woman in childbirth, I cry out, I gasp and pant."
OK, so maybe here God is saying that God is LIKE a woman in childbirth, but to me, this is still an image that should not be forgotten. I also find it hard to see why God would choose to be like a woman in childbirth, with the crying, gasping & panting, unless God WAS like a woman in childbirth...(Sorry, don't know if I've explained that v well?!)

Then, of course, there's Wisdom 8-9, which is probably more Spirit orientated, but still speaks of God with the use of female imagery...(No, I'm not going to quote the full 2 chapters!)

My ideas aren't actually new...They're in fact pretty old...No, that doesn't mean 19th century. I'm talking 14th century, & Julian of Norwich. I know that not everyone particularly likes the stuff she said...I think some of it is pretty cool though:
"...what is it that Jesus our true Mother, does?...he carries us within himself in love, and he went into labour for the full time, suffering the most agonising pains and the sharpest birth pangs possible, util in the end he died...The human mother suckles her child with her own milk, and with the utmost tender kindness, our beloved Mother, Jesus, feeds us with himself.
(c.1390; Revelations of Divine Love ch.60)

I think it's also possible to perceive God as being transcendent of sex; perhaps it is possible that God so radically transcends human experience that no human language can speak totally accurately about God? (Not sure I totally agree, though I can kind of see the point.)
"It is neither patriarchal God nor matriarchal Goddess, neither the Masculine nor the Feminine, neither divine Fatherhood, nor complementary Motherhood that redeems and saves."
(Elisabeth Schussler Fiorenza; Jesus: Miriam's Child, Sophia's Prophet.)

Perhaps, envisioning God as in the image of one sex, rather than both, subordinates the other sex? Perhaps, entirely male-orientated speech about God does not allow the equal participation of women in divine spheres?

I think that it can even be said that the experience of labour and the delivery of a baby is a great metaphor for God's struggle to birth a new heaven and a new earth:
"The loud birthing cry evokes a God who is in hard labour, sweating, pushing with all her might to bring forth justice, the fruit of her love...And it is not over yet, only eschatologically will the delivery take place..."
(Elizabeth Johnson; She Who Is)

I don't think that any language about God can be fully sufficient to describe God, but I think that it is important that the language that we do use is inclusive.

God as Father is, I believe, an image that must remain central within my faith, but I think it is also an image that can be enriched by images such as that of Mother.

You can also think about it this way...Speaking of God as Father does not mean God has a male dimension, just as speaking of God as Mother does not mean God has a female dimension, just as speaking of God as a lion or eagle does not mean God has an animal dimension (I'm not altogther sure of what I think of this).

As women and men are created in the image of God, God can be spoken of as much in female metaphor as in male metaphor - both of them are equally valid.

I like prayer group. Prayer group's great. It made me feel better today...& I did some of what I call "prayer writing"...It's not exactly writing 'formal' prayers (ie. "Dear God, Please help..."), it's more like a kind of creative kind of writing that's also prayer...Anyway, I hadn't done much for aaaaaaaagggggggges, so it was kind of nice to do some.

I also read the whole of Plato's Symposium & started on Protagoras today. I think I'll be OK on the exam...At least I hope I will. I only have to answer one question on Philosophy - I can answer the others on Religion!!! Relief!!!!!

Tomorrow, I'm going to Torquay to visit a convent there. I'm excited!!!

Well, I didn't manage to blog yesterday, so have not managed to sustain my streak of blogging every day.

Have been revising hard, but am not looking forward to the Philosophy bit of my Greek Religion paper.

Not really much going on other than revision, though I am really looking forward to going to Torquay on Saturday.

I'm v tired today - have not had much sleep for a few nights.

Not a v long or exciting blog today, I'm afraid.

Hmmm...I think this may be another uncontentious blog. I'm not sure I have the energy for anything else.

I went to see Sr Anna (an Exeter nun) today. She's very nice. She says I can go back & meet the other Sisters there in July, when they'll be a bit more active...It's apparently all a bit quiet at the Convent at the moment.

Not all of the Sisters wear a habit, but they do all wear veils. They have different jobs now - they used to all be teachers, but now they're not. I would still be allowed to be a teacher though.

They seem to have a prayer life that would suit me - once I learnt how to get up at 5am!!!!!!! They pray together and on their own - which I like. They go to Mass pretty much every other day; they like Adoration; they also say the Rosary quite often.

I liked what Sr Anna said. I think I'll keep them in mind.

They're going to pray for me, & exams, which I think is v nice of them. I like prayers.

Well, I think today is the day for a less contentious blog.

Last night, as usual, 7 of us trekked off to the Cowley Bridge Inn for the Quiz.

For the past few weeks, my team - which has been: week 1 - Rob, Mark, Norris & me; week 2 - Rob, Norris & me; last night - Rob, Dan, Norris & me - has lost to Zosia's team - week 1 - Zosh, James & Ella; week 2 - Zosh, James, Dan and Amy; last night - Zosh, James & Mark - by ONE POINT!!! But, last night was to prove to be our night. WE WON!!! We did not only beat Zosia's team, but we beat EVERY TEAM in EVERYTHING. We did have tie-breakers though. But, we still won. We won the main quiz & we won the half-timers too.

I feel that such a great event needs making a lot of. I am proud of my team. We rule.

Next week is Zosia's quiz. It should be fun. I threatened to take a water pistol, but I don't think I will, cos I think she might get cross. I also think that it would be a bit mean.

WARNING!!!!!!

IF YOU THINK THAT MY TALKING ABOUT THE WORDING OF THE CREED IS PATHETIC, PLEASE DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING POST, OR LEAVE COMMENTS ON IT. PLEASE RESPECT MY REQUEST, AND MY OPINION.

I've been looking up stuff on the internet about the wording of the Creed, & whether it should say "for us men and for our salvation" or "for us and for our salvation". It is a matter of great contention, and disagreement, but I do think it's important.

I am not a man, and I do not want to be a man. For this reason, I do not want to declare "for us men and our salvation". If you go to http://www.concordtx.org/opinions/ncreed.htm, then that says quite a lot of stuff that I agree with; especially the bit about language, and the understanding of it. The word "man" is used to mean "men", and excludes hwomen. Why insist on using a word that offends people? Why use a word that does not actually include the whole congregation in a church? Surely, it's nonsense to do so.

When you can communicate the true meaning of Christ's gospel, surely, it's nonsense to drive people away by using language that people HATE! Surely, the liturgy should be celebrated in language that the congregation relate to. What is the reason for not saying "for us and for our salvation"? Is it a fear of change, or just intransigence?

The use of the word "men" implies that women are second class citizens - they are not. Some women aren't bothered by the use of sexist language, but I guess that's their choice, & I may not understand it, but I respect it.

If you don't agree with me, you might find http://www.ad2000.com.au/articles/1992apr1992p20_751.html is more to your liking.

I, however, do like http://taconline.org/1996/1996-01/femtalk.html - it's cool. Also, read some of the Tablet articles on women's issues. You can get them online. They're good too.

It's not impossible to be a feminist and not be dangerous; it's not impossible to be a feminist and a Christian; it's not impossible to be a feminist & a nun!!! I don't think I'm dangerous, I know that I'm a Christian, & I want to be a nun. I am maybe challenging though. But, I like that.

Well, there's actually nowt wrong with Feminists. Feminism is not pathetic unless you don't understand it. I guess it would be pathetic if you didn't know what it was...But if you know, then Feminism's actually pretty cool.

Well, today is turning out very much like yesterday. I am sitting here. I am bored. Today, though, I am only waiting for my printer, & they don't have an hour to deliver it. It should be here NOW!!!!

Today is my last day of revising my Theology module. I still have quite a lot to do. But, I can't concentrate, because I am waiting to hear the door...I am waiting for my printer, & I am bored.

I still have a cold. I am going throught the joyous stage of coughing up phlegm. It's not nice. It hurts a bit too.

My new computer is great. It has voices called Synthetic Dave & Synthetic Andy. They're very funny. Synthetic Dave & Rob don't get on. They hate each other.

My screen is huge. It takes over about half of my desk. It's funny.

I got a book in braille with my computer, cos I have special software for visually impaired people. I can't read braille, but I wish I could.

I also have yellow stickers on my keyboard. They're cool. They make everything big so I can see it.

I don't really know what else to say. I'm just bored now, & talking about nothing...

Well, I'm sitting at home waiting for my new computer. I'm bored. I want it now. It's supposed to be here within the next hour. I hope it is, because I think that waiting to hear the door would distract me from my work.

I've been told to give myself a bit of a break today...So, until my computer comes, I'm not revising. I might put my notes in a folder though, and make it look like my work's really organised, even if that's a total lie. Perhaps I might convince someone.

In a week & a day, my exams will be over. Lots of people seem to be really happy that their exams are almost over. I'm frankly just scared. The fact that they're almost over means that it's even closer to when I have to do them....

There's a big van outside my house. It's yellow. I hope it's my computer. It's quite exciting. It's parked & everything.

The van's gone now. It was my computer, though for some reason, I didn't get my printer. There's 4 HUGE boxes in my lounge. How do you set a computer up?

Now, I'm off to watch my computer being set up; phone my doctor because I've been told to; phone the evil computer people to say "oi! where's my printer?!"

Well, I disliked James' comment about feminists. Feminists do not make women inferior to men. Feminists can, however, see where women are treated as inferior to men. Open your eyes people!!

How can you say that (in this country at least) women are treated as equal to men when there is still an 18.5% pay gap? That means that it is likely that a woman doing the same job as a man will get paid 18.5% less than him!!! That sucks. They should get paid the same. (Please note that as a feminist, I think they should get paid the same! I'm not one of these really radical feminist jobbies, I just think that everyone should be equal.)

This whole equality thing does involve doing things like removing the "for us men" from the Creed. I know this is a contentious issue, but I really do think that it should say "for us". I know that probably when they're saying the Creed, most people don't really consider the implications of using "for us men" - I guess you could even hold the opinion that either: it's easier than saying "for us men & women" or "for us humans"; saying "for us men" doesn't really say anything about making women inferior. Well, I'm sorry, but it does. The people who agreed on the wording of the Creed are most likely from the same crew who in translating the Bible, have decided that the people in Romans 16:7 were both men. Even John Chrysostom had them down as a man and a woman - probably a married couple, but later translations have them both down as men. There's a bit of a problem with this, in that if they were both men, one of them has a name that didn't actually exist. Junias was not a name. If, however, this person was a women, she would be called Junia, which was a common name. So, methinks that this was a woman, and that there's just a few oddballs out there who don't want to admit that women were so prominent in the early Church, and that Paul - of all people! - wrote to them, and actually seems to have respected them a lot.

But, hang on! Surely Paul was a mysogynist?!!! Well, um, no, actually. Paul was always at pains to address both sides of a partnership, and he also wrote directly to women. He also acknowledged the pretty much equal rights and responsibilites of men & women. It's just these silly interpreters that have taken what he said in the wrong way.

1 Corinthians 7:4 - Whatever authority is given to the man is also given to the woman. No mysogynist there so far as I can see!

Then you've got the infamous passage in 1 Corinthians 11. But, if you look particularly at 1 Corinthians 11:10, you might find a bit of a male bias in the translation. Here, Paul actually appears to be talking of the authority that a woman has. A head covering GIVES a woman authority, it does not take it away.

I guess it does have to be considered that Paul maybe did introduce ideas that could put women down, but he most certainly could not be dismissed as a male chauvanist pig - that title belongs to those who interpreted his writings in such a way.

In the deutero-Pauline & pastoral epistles, there are things that clearly do place men above women...They were all written under a huge influence of patriarchalisation - a process that should be demolished; not even so that it can be replaced by matriarchalisation, because that would be just as bad, and really, through it, nothing would have been achieved.

OK, moving on to another of James' points...Why does the word "woman" make women dependent on "man" - surely these words actually so interdependence. The word "man", is a shortening of "woman" and the word "woman" is a lengthening of "man". Surely, men & women just can't exist without each other, and it has to be accepted that they should all be equal, as they are equal in the eyes of God. Therefore, the movement - feminist or otherwise - for equal rights of all people should be pursued.

Well, I finally finished my essay. It didn't take quite so long as I expected, which is all good. It's not the best essay I've ever written, but it'll do, I guess.

We also had the Theology department photos today. I had been given my instructions to be there by the department secretary - despite the fact that I had counselling just before the photos were due to be taken. So, as the dutiful little thing that I am, I toddled over to the Queen's building quad (ha!) to be in the photos. Lecturers having their photos taken has to be one of the most hilarious things ever. We had a good laugh.

We were totally snubbed by one lecturer, who obviously just decided he didn't want to be with us! Another lecturer giggled a lot through the whole photo taking process; another looked bored/asleep; another one grinned inanely as if to say that he'd just disembowled a sheep & was going to have haggis for dinner. Theology lecturers are a weird bunch.

After that, I went for lunch in the Ram with some cool Theology people. We're all going to the Ram again tonight too. I like Theology people. They rock.

Today, I also phoned 2 convents - 1 in Torquay & 1 in Exeter. The sister that I spoke to in Torquay sounded v cool - I'm going to visit them on the 5th of June. The one that I spoke to in Exeter sounded like she may have been a little more "senior", and I think I may have confused the poor love a bit, but I'm going to visit them next Tuesday! I'm soooo excited!

It's the last TROfS today, & Karen won't be there, which is kind of sad...Poor Karen...

Anyway, I'd better be off. Supposed to on campus at 5:45.

Well, the prayer vigil was great. I'm still a bit tired cos of it & rob...

Today, I went to Buckfast to see Marion & chat about nun-type stuff. We talked about a lot...We talked for 2 & 1/2 hours! I'm more convinced about being a sister now.

Now, I have an essay to write, so this is a short blog.

Well, last night, we all went on an adventure. We started off near Duryard, & finished near Lafrowda. It was quite fun.

It was dark though, & I think that only Rob has worked out that I can't see AT ALL in the dark. Finding steps is SUCH a mission. If it's not somewhere I walk regularly, I tend to fall over my own feet, over steps, or into bushes - & yes, I AM DISABLED, but hey. Everyone makes such a big thing of it, but then no-one really actually helps me when I need it. I even have to have an incident form in the library, because I fell down the stairs, because I couldn't see them. That's probably where most of my bruises are from. I've burnt my feet 3 times this week making coffee, because I can't see the cup, & pour water in the wrong place. YES - it is THAT bad....

I've taken 5 beta blockers in the past 2 days - probably not good going, as the most I'm allowed to take in 2 days is 6. I'll probably also take another one before I go to bed, as I don't really want to be waking up with a panic attack. At the moment, the only way to go seems to be to block stuff out. I'm not even feeling the depression that much, I don't think, but blocking stuff seems to be good...

Blocking stuff seems to be especially good when it comes to the fact that I can't see. I try to kind of ignore it or laugh at it, even though I'm really scared & it really hurts...I can't even go near really bright lights any more, because they give me migranes...I also don't know whether I'm going to lose my sight altogether or not...What am I going to do if that happens? I want to be a teacher, & I'm not sure that anyone in their right mind would employ me to teach secondary school if I can't see. Also, how am I going to live on my own? I find it hard enough now...Burning my feet 3 times in a week isn't really something to be laughed at...What do I do if I drop a hot pan on my feet...I don't think I'd escape with scalds then. I'm also scared about crossing roads. I hardly use my eyes at all to do that any more, because I just cannot see what's going on. I use my ears instead, but there are so many different types of engines that I find it really hard to tell how far away a car is, or how fast it's going. I don't want to be using stuff that screams "I'm disabled!" but I'm not sure how to be safe if I don't...

The only places I actually cope well with going to are going to campus & maybe the Chaplaincy, because I do it a lot. If I'm going to other places, I get really scared, & don't do too well with roads & stuff. I also tend to fall down/up steps in new/strange places. It's so frustrating, because I can't do anything about it, & the "I'm disabled" thing is kind of a joke, & it seems that people forget that I actually do have huge problems with some things. It seems to be that people see that I try to get on with my life & do "normal" stuff, so therefore I must be coping with it, & no one stops to think that maybe I'M NOT!!!!!!

Hmmm....Well, my weekend wasn't too great. I did go to see LT & the Eurovision party was good, but.....

Have not been a v well bunny. Have had 32 panic attacks since Saturday night...Now have beta blockers from the doctor though.

Even had to leave early after the quiz on Sunday, cos I was getting all tight chested & stuff. Obviously, the other team were v smelly, but the main reason Rob & I didn't sit with them was that I couldn't breathe, & then he walked me home when I got to the "I'm gonna cry" stage.

Rob stayed the night at my house - it's a looooooooong walk back to his house from mine, & I'm not good at being all alone after panic attacks & stuff. They make me feel like I'm gonna die.

Hmmmmmm...Don't really know what to say today. Tried to blog yesterday, but it wouldn't publish, & then lost my REALLY long entry. I was not a happy bunny.

The guy in Oxford was of no help at all, & as I suspected, my new glasses really do not make much of a difference. People here have been great though, & have done lots of helpful things.

Going to my doctor on Tuesday to ask her to refer me somewhere for a 2nd opinion.

Meeting with the Plymouth Chaplain next week to talk about nun-stuff...I'm actually quite excited about it all.

Should have my new computer soon! My LEA have finally got themselves into gear, & have agreed to spend lots of money to make my life easier.

Have done no revision since I went to Oxford. The fool of a man left me feeling a bit poo, & I haven't been able to concentrate too well for the past couple of days...Ah well.

Wow...Blogger has changed the format for logging in & posting...I like it.

Am trying to organise things like Committee meetings with Tessa...She has suggested a meeting every other week, which I think is good...I'm not as keen on the whole 6:30 on Wednesday thing though...I already have enough of a rush to get out of my house to be at the Chaplaincy by 7:00 on Wednesdays, but I think 6:30 would be silly...I'd never have time to eat...Poor me!

Am down to 8 painkillers a day today, so can now drink again! Yay!!! How cool is that. I couldn't drink at the pub quiz on Sunday, so drank 2 pints of coke instead. We came 2nd again, but it was a hard quiz, but the "proper" quiz guy should be back next week!

CathSoc are having a quiz tomorrow...Zosh & I have written it, so it'll be great. Everyone should come.

I'm going to Oxford tomorrow. I have to get up at 5:30am. I'm not looking forward to that. Would anybody like me to phone them at 5:30am tomorrow?!

Clever me! I emailed my Greek Philosophy lecturer, as I can never find him & I missed his lecture last Thursday, cos of going to A & E, & I'm missing his lecture tomorrow cos I'm going to Oxford. I also really wanted to know my essay mark...I got 65!! I am sooooo proud. My other essay for that module was 76, so I'm hoping I do well in the exam too, cos I think I could get a v good mark for that module.

I'm going to speak to Paul later about vocation-y things. It could be fun...Please pray though, cos I'm also sort of nervous!!!

Ouch! It hurts...

My neck is VERY painful - I guess I was warned it'd probably get worse. I'm totally drugged up on the painkillers. 16 of them a day. They make me drowsy & leave me a bit out of it. But, they relieve the pain, so I guess it's not all bad.

I have a yellow overlay, so I don't have to read off evil white paper. I think I'm also gonna get a reader in my exams - yay.

CathSoc Committee handover meal tonight - hopefully it'll be fun...I can't drink though, cos of the painkillers. Ah well - coke it is!!! Hehehehe

I may have a job soon........

Well, if it was going to be anyone, it did have to be me...

I sustained an injury at the CathSoc fun night. My neck made a baaaaaad cracky noise, & got very painful, & I was sick, & everyone got worried, & eventually Zosh took me to A&E. We were there for 3 hours.

I had to have xrays & everything. I'd never had an xray before, & was kind of nervous, especially when I had to take my glasses off; the xray lady was very nice though, & she held my hand so I didn't walk into anything while I went across the room, & she gave my glasses back to me before I had to walk again!

My xrays were OK, but I've done something not so great to a big muscle called the trapezius (I think) in my neck. It hurts quite a lot. I have many pain killers.

The doctor was very nice to me last night too. I was well looked after by the medical people & Zosh!

Zosh told me about infant motor development last night. There was this guy who thought that the development of motor skills was due to genetic stuff. There were other guys who thought he was wrong, & that environment has far more to do with it - for example, not everyone can write or drive, but those are both motor skills. They did experiments on cats & things.

I told Zosh the titles of all of the plays that I have to read for my Greek & Roman Drama module; I didn't tell her all of the stories though, because we sang 'chick chick chick chick chicken' instead. We broke the tiredness barrier, & just got to the stage of finding everything funny.

When we left the hospital, the dawn chorus was starting, we only had about 2 hours sleep. Zosh made sure that I was in bed & comfortable with a hot water bottle before she got to bed too. This morning, she made sure that I got to the doctor OK. I love you Zosh!!!!!

James bless him kept sending texts to Zosh to check that I was OK. He said he should have come to the hospital too, but it could have got a bit silly...I may have a double bed, but you really shouldn't try to put too many people in it.

I'm OK today. I have lots of painkillers; they help.

I saw the doctor this morning. She was very nice, and made sure I was all OK. I have to go back in a couple of weeks, but that's OK - I don't mind going to see the doctor.

I was going to have my hair cut today, but I wouldn't have been able to bend my neck back so that I could have my hair washed, so I'm now having it done next Thursday.

I went to the library with Adeleh today; she's great. She's really helpful, & very sweet. She finds all of my books for me, and everything. We're going to the library again on Monday.

I managed to do some revision today; I was pretty impressed! Yay!

Today's been OK. Went to lecture, & counselling. Counselling was rough.

Tonight, I went to lecture & seminar...I have Karen's pens. If I write it here, I might remember that I have them, & take them next week, & give them back to Karen when she gets back.

I'm really rambling today, but never mind; it can just be a short blog.

Well, last night, Amy, James, Rob, Zosh & myself went to the Cowley Bridge Inn to do the quiz. It was good. We got 48 out of 60 & came 2nd. I was impressed with us.

James & I spent a lot of time laughing & teasing people. Ah well...The things that we do.

Amy won us a box of Celebrations in the raffle. We ate them all in about 5 minutes. We thought about giving back the box, but then didn't.

After the quiz, we went back to Rob & James' house & watched Ivor. Ivor's great. Amy left a bit early, cos she likes to sleep, so that she can work hard the next day. Zosh & I stayed & watched more Ivor. James & I really appreciated Ivor. Zosh didn't. Then, Rob started dissing Ivor too. I thought he liked Ivor, but he said that it was getting tedious. So did Zosh. We watched til the end tho. I have now seen the whole Ivor video. I feel great cos of that. I see it as an achievement.

I still haven't taken my mood brighteners yet today, I will take them soon though. It's not affecting me as much as it used to though. I seem to be coping pretty well without them so far today. I'm proud! It must mean I'm getting better! Yay!

I stayed at Zosia's last night, cos it was about 1:45 when we stopped watching Ivor. It's too late/early to walk home at that time. I got home at 12:00 today instead.

I'm going to re-read my comedies today. I'm actually quite proud at how well my revision is going.

I also have to find a school to work in for two weeks after exams. I like schools. I'm going to be a teacher!! Yay!!

I'm hungry...I need food....

Mmmmmmmm food......

Well, it's not actually that long since I got back from Church. I liked Mass today. There was a pastoral letter from the Bishop - he writes better ones than the ex-archbishop of my diocese did...The new guy (Vincent) is quite cool though.

Rachel cooked today. It was good. She cooked tuna with black olives & pasta & stuff. She also gave us a Maltese sweet-thing called figola (I think!).

After lunch, we were chatting about CathSoc stuff...Some of it seems to be getting so organised that it's literally REGIMENTED! I mean, I know different people work differently, & I guess I'm probably finding it a bit tough that last year's committee were being criticised...We worked REALLY hard last year, & I think that we laid down some good foundations...Our CathSoc "hardcore" does seem to be slowly expanding (which is good, because "hardcore" rule!!), & I don't think you can rush these things...Thinking about it, last year, as a committee, we did achieve quite a lot, & I'm very proud of it...At the handover meal on Friday, I think that I should say something to that effect!

I'm very upset because we're having a games evening without Monkey Ball - I like Monkey Ball, & when it's projected onto a wall, I'm on an equal footing with everyone else - which does seem a rarity! (Yes James, I'm talking about my eyes again!!!) Even I can see these things when they're projected onto a wall! It's great, because I can actually play the game...There's lots of things I can't do, because my eyesight really IS that bad, so finding things I can do is always really exciting. Hopefully, when I go to Oxford, they'll give me some stronger glasses, which should help a bit!

Spontenaity is definitely a good thing sometimes. Our Wednesday park visit was pretty spontaneous, & that was great.

I've nearly finished re-reading all of my tragedies for Greek & Roman drama. I'm proud. Now, it's just the comedies, & I've read about half of those, so I'm doing well!

Prayer group last night was good; I was late, cos I wasn't sure whether to go or not. We did some music practising last night too, & it was cool. We learnt some new stuff!

We saw Lopes last night ("we" being Rach, Zosh & me) - we walked Tessa home & went in to see her room. It was great.

I did lots of work yesterday too. I'm proud of myself.

I have a meeting at the disability centre on Wednesday - to talk about exams & stuff...it should help. I'm also meeting my library helper person, she's called Adeleh.

Don't know when I'm getting my computer...Hopefully it'll be soon!!!

My ex-housemate is coming next weekend - oh dear. I think it'll be a weekend for avoiding my house. Maybe it'll be sunny, & I can go somewhere nice to revise. ARGH!!!!!!!!! Help us all!!

Wednesday CathSoc was cool...LOTS of party food!! YUM!!!

The Blue Room looked cool...We made it all pretty with balloons!

After the part, Zosh, Rob, James & myself decided that going to Belmont Park was a good idea. It's a long walk, but it was fun. We played on the swings, & James & I played on the wannabe seesaw...It was GREAT!!! It was like a mix between a pogo stick & a seesaw & completely unpainful. You didn't fall off, like you do if you use a pogo stick, & you didn't get painful bumps, like you do if you're the lighter person on a seesaw. James did nearly manage to throw me off though. He bounced really hard, & my feet went off the bar, but they went back on again, so it was OK.

Tessa and Zosh both saw my house on Wednesday! Zosh even stayed here! Both of them liked the leather sofas - they are great sofas!! Zosh couldn't appreciate the greenness of my house until Thursday though - it was 2:30am when we got back from the park, so it was too dark to see the outside of my house. It was OK though, because it wasn't dark on Thursday morning, & so she could see that the outside of my house (like a good chunk of the inside) is green! My house is also on the end of a row of white houses, so the effect of the green is even greater! We also have a green lamppost outside our house. Karen doesn't like green, but I think she'd like my house. My house is beautiful.

It turns out that the lecture that I thought I'd missed on Wednesday was actually cancelled, which I guess is good. It's also good that I was shopping with Tessa when I thought I should have been in a lecture, because otherwise, I'd have gone to my lecture, & got really angry that I'd walked all the way to campus just to find that my lecture was cancelled.

Yesterday, I bought orange juice & milk...mmmm milk...I like milk! I also bought some folders for my revision notes, so that I can organise them. Then, I came home & planned music for Mass on Sunday. I like planning music. It's cool...Though I can't read the index of the hymn books, so if I think of a hymn off the top of my head, I have to go through the whole hymn book to find it!!! I even did a bit of work yesterday - I read some of a book introducing the writings of St Paul, but I only read the bits on the Spirit and Eschatology, because that's what my essay's on, so nothing else was relevant really.

Today, I have already been to campus. I had a meeting with someone at the disability centre at 10am, & then I had a lecture at 12. Inbetween the two, I went to the Balcony Bar, & had a Flake, & hot chocolate with marshmallows...Mmm...My lecture today was a bit boring, but never mind. I'm sure it will prove useful in the exam. The silly lecturer gave us a handout with one page that can only be in about font size 6. I need font size 16 to be able to read it, so that's really not helpful.

I'm meeting my library helper next week. It should be good...It will mean that I have someone to find all of my books, & do my photocopying for me!! Hehehe.

Tonight, we are practising the hymns for Mass on Sunday. I'm hoping it will be fun. I've even bought new clarinet & saxaphone reeds!!! For me, this is progress...I've been FORGETTING to buy new reeds for months.

I went shopping with Tessa today for party stuff...It was cool!! We had a lot of fun!!! Hehehe

Last night, I was told AGAIN what I need to do after I graduate to become a teacher...I was taken out of what was apparently a really interesting seminar for that!

Yesterday, my counsellor suggested that my appointments are reduced to once every 2 weeks rather than once every week...It's kind of scary, but in another way, it feels kind of OK. I think I know that I'm getting better, & more able to cope, which is definitely a good thing!

I should be in a lecture now, but have had a bit of a manic few days, & was shopping with Tessa for tonight any way. Also, I would have found it hard to stay awake through the lecture...

I have started to research an essay that isn't due in for another 3 weeks...For me, that's good! Usually I do essays the night before!!!

Other than that, I have nothing interesting to say...

I have finally got my hospital appointments through from Oxford!!! I now have 2 appointments there, but if it's going to sort stuff out, then I guess I can live with it!

I phoned them this morning, 'cos I still haven't had a letter that's supposed to be sent out 6 weeks before my appointment... My 1st appointment is in just over 2 weeks, & the 2nd one is in 4 weeks. It's going to cost me lots of money to get there, but I can live with it!

On the 12th (my 1st appointment) I have to leave Exeter on the 7:12am train... Not really looking forward to that, but hey! Oxford is pretty, so I get a little while up there too... I do have to take a really stange train route to get cheap tickets, but never mind.

I LOVE the summery weather - it's fab! It's so nice to be able to go out without long sleeves & stuff!

Yesterday was a bloggable day - it was great to go back to Church, & after Zosh had opened her 21 presents (evidently essential for a 21st birthday), we went to the Imp & sat in the garden drinking coke (not even wine!!!) & it was great! Then, we went & found the stream on campus, & it was cool...Any way, going to help housemate unpack car, bless him. Tim has returned! Full house! Yay!!!!

Yes people! I am back! I have been up for 31 hours now, & am far, far past the stage of tiredness. I didn't go to bed last night as we had to leave Alaykoy at 3am this morning; we were at my nan's til 11:30pm, so there really didn't seem much point in trying to sleep.

This morning, I saw rain in Cyprus!! OK, so it's only rain, & we get a lot of it... In Cyprus, though, it's a bit of a novelty - they go for 8 or 9 months a year without rain, & the annual rainfall of Northern Cyprus is only 50mm!!! They had already had 2 months without rain!!!

I did sleep a little bit on my flight, but not much. I have worked out the TRUE meaning of UFO. It is not Unidentified Flying Object, it is Unidentified Food Object. I had breakfast on the plane (as my flight is about 5 hours long)... It consisted of sausage (not pork, but I'm not sure what it was) that bounced! A pancake (I think) with cheese (I think) that was like rubber, & a tomato that was definitely a tomato, tho tasted of plastic!!! There was also jam that had to be POURED onto the bread!!!

My daddy, lovely man that he is, decided that rather than leaving me to make my own way from Chingford (in Greater London) all the way to Rugby (South of Birmingham) by train - well TRAINS & the underground, & then from Rugby to Southam (where I live) on a bus, he will drive me all the way there after work today!!! Yay! That is SUCH a relief! I was not looking forward to dragging my HUGE suitcase around with me on trains & buses & things & certainly was not looking forward to walking home with it when I got off the bus.

I was a little sad to leave Cyprus, but I am glad to be back here. I will be even more glad on Saturday when I go back to Exeter!!! So exciting!

Psst!!! Zosia is getting old!!!!!! Hehehe

Well, I'm in the internet cafe again...

I have not really heeded the advice about the sun... My feet look v funny - I wear shoes without socks, & so I have really strange tan marks on my feet...

I have been very sensible, & haven't taken no photos of no airports, nor have I taken photos of army bases... I've also managed to resist the temptation of seeing if I can run through the boarder without being shot. (That very nearly ended up as something else, as 'i' is next to 'o' & my fingers don't always behave!!!)

I had a very weird Easter - on Good Friday I was teaching; on Saturday, I can't really remember what I did, & on Sunday, I went to visit my aunt... It was very strange not going to church!

The weather here is a bit cooler now. It has even been cool enough for me to wear jeans! The rest of the time it's been so hot that I've only been able to wear skirts. It's now about 20 degrees at mid-day. You'd think it was freezing! Everyone here has rooted out their woolly hats!!! Last week it was mostly between 32 & 35 at mid-day, and didn't go below 22 in dayligh hours.

I am kind of missing Exeter though, & I'll be glad to get back next Saturday. Cyprus is lovely, but it's not home! I am missing my house, & I am missing my friends... Yes, I acknowledge my weirdness...

Well, i have been in north cyprus for a week. all is good. i have been working in school for 2 days now. all of the teaching is done in english, which can only b good! so, i have been doing some teaching!

it's great weather here - above 22 every day!! bliss!

i am staying with my uncle, & from his house, there is a great view of the mountains, so i have spent quite a lot of time just sitting on the balcony with a book, or some work. it's great. have not been out & about much. my turkish is not good & i'm a bit nervous about getting lost, etc. i WILL b getting about a bit more though. i am working in a city right on the border between north & south cyprus, & some of the city is really old, & beautiful, so i'm planning on going further into the city at some point.

the teachers here get so much free time it's funny... the school day is from 8am to 1pm, they have 1/2 an hour of break time during that...there are 7 lessons of 40 minutes a day, & they only teach for 3 of those!!! they spend the rest of the time sitting in the staff room drinking coffee & chatting. they don't even have that much marking to do! also, EVERY school in northern cyprus employs someone to make coffee etc for the teachers!!!!! i was so shocked when i realised that this woman's job was purely to make coffee & tea for the teachers, but apparently all schools have someone to do that!!! it's insane!

anyway...i could stay in this internet cafe, or i could go & enjoy the sun...hmm...hard choice! byebye!!!

There's now just over 24 hours til check in time!! Yes, it is tomorrow that I fly off to Cyprus! I'm very excited, my suitcase is packed, and all is good!

My suitcase is very heavy - but more than half of it is filled with presents for my family in Cyprus! So, it's really not my fault that it's so full & heavy...

I'm still trying to improve my Turkish...I'm not doing too well, but in August, being the fool that I am, I made a bet with my uncle that by the time I went back - ie tomorrow!!! - I'd be able to talk in Turkish. This bet is VERY important to both of us...It rides on personal pride...So, humiliation for the losing party, especially if it's me!

I will be glad to get away from home, & I don't get back until the 21st, so then it's only a couple of days til I go back to Exeter! Yay!!!

It will be very weird being in Cyprus over Easter - they don't have it! Being Muslim, it's obviously not something they celebrate...So, I'm going to be in school for the whole of Holy Week...Ah well, I suppose that even here, kids don't always get the WHOLE of Holy Week off school any more - I certainly didn't! So, it might not be quite so weird after all.

It will be a bit strange being in school 5 days a week though, & I will have to get up very early; they start school at 8am - & since I'm teaching, I'll have to be there at about 7:30am...The other thing is, I have to get a bus there in the morning...So, lots of early mornings for me, then! It's not all bad though...They may start school early, but they also finish early; my working day finishes at 1pm!! So, I have all of my afternoons to myself, and can explore! Should be great...I'm really looking forward to going to Salamis!

I think though, that the 3 weeks in Cyprus may be 3 weeks without the internet...So, that may also be 3 weeks without blogging...Very sad, I know...But, I will try to access the internet somewhere so that I can blog! Do not despair, my friends!

Well, I've been home for the WHOLE weekend...I'm really holding onto the fact that I only have a week left before I go to Cyprus.

I got back home on Friday, & my parents did take me out to eat, which was quite nice. On Saturday, I escaped by going into the nearest town (10 miles & 40 minutes on a bus), & then in the evening, I worked...I worked in an Off Licence here when I was in Upper 6th, & they're short staffed, so as well as getting me money, working there also gets me out of the house for an evening...

Yesterday was obviously Mothers' Day...Went to Church in the morning; the new priest is nice, he's a bit older than the last one...It was sort of weird going to Church here & there being a priest I'd never met before! It was a bit of the shock to the system in more ways than one...The priest is a lot calmer & quieter than Paul, & Church here has pews & everything...I don't even take my shoes off as soon as I walk in!!!!

We went out for lunch yesterday; we had a Meze meal (a huge selection of Turkish & Greek food that everyone shares. Starters are things like Houmous, Taramasalata, Imambayaldi, Cacik, Black Eyed Bean Salad, deep fried courgettes...Main course is stuff like Pastorma, Beef Stefado, Savory Potatoes, Kofte, Shish Kebab...It's great!

I now officially have approval from the Minister of Education in Northern Cyprus to go into schools there for two weeks, but I'm not allowed to go into my uncle's school!!! The Ministry decided I would be of more use elsewhere, so I have to go into schools totally on my own...Which means getting there on my own every day, etc! I'm a bit nervous about it - my Turkish really isn't that great...But I'm also really VERY excited!

argh! there's only about 48 hours left til I go home!!! i don't really want to go, but i guess i have to. also, there are only 10 days between me getting back & going to cyprus, & i'm there for 3 weeks, so it should be ok. when i get back from cyprus, there's only a week before the start of term, so i might go home for a few days & then come back here a bit early.

i think the doctor now knows how much i dislike going home...i had a bad day on friday, & so my appointment with her was brought forward to yesterday...some of her 1st words were "you really don't like going home, do you?"! she thinks i'm doing really well though, and will survive the 5 weeks away. saw penny yesterday too, & she was great; she knows i don't like going home - she also knows a lot more of the whys than most people; so, we were talking about how i'm going to cope for 5 weeks!

i got up nice & early this morning, but have still done no work on my essays today...oh well...i'll do some later...they both have to be in on friday. the one on plato's 'symposium' is going pretty well...have done lots of reading & everything. i think (& hope) that it should be a good essay; in my other essay for that module, i got 76%, so another good mark would go down very well!!!

i only have 3 exams in june, so you would have thought that they would be on 3 different days, wouldn't you? well, if you thought that, you would be wrong!!! i have a classics one on the 8th of june, in the morning, so that will be 3hrs 45mins with my extra time; i have my theology one on the morning of the 11th of june, which will be 2hrs 30mins; my other classics one is on the afternoon of 11th of june, so another 3hrs 45mins...talk about torture!!! i hate having to sit still at the best of times, but over 6hrs in one day?!!!!!! argh!!

tis the last cathsoc of term tonight, & therefore, my last cathsoc meeting as president! i don't know whether to be slightly sad, or to cheer...both seem rather appropriate!

hmmm; well, i suppose i'd better crack on with these essays...

more from the land of me tomorrow!

Hehe - I'm feeling quite obliged to blog now, as i have paz & joz reading my blog...

i have done some reading of stuff for my classics essays - obscenity is great!! it's soooo funny... also been reading about luuuuurve for my plato essay.

have been a busy lil bunny!

i got my report thing from the disbility resource centre today...it has a gggreat big list of all the things i need - there's looooads of it...

can't believe it's so near the end of term... :(

Well, it's kinda cool to know ppl other than zosh & james read my blog - thanks joz!!!

Today, I have done no work...I went to see Gondaleas - I knew 3 ppl in it! It was quite funny to watch them prancing around the stage!

This evening, though, I do have to do some essay work...But, by the end of this week, I will only have one more essay to do this academic year! How exciting!

This time next week, I will be at home in Warwickshire...Plans have changed slightly, as I remembered it's Mother's Day on the 21st, & my mum & grandma'd quite like me to be there then...So, I'm going home on Friday.

I'll be at home for 8 days, & then I'm off to Cyprus!!! Yay! For a whole 3 weeks! I will b teaching for 2 of them, but it's an exciting place to be teaching!

Well, I'd better go & book my train ticket home, & then get on with my essay...Joy!

1 essay down, 2 to go before the end of term!!! I'm proud of me!!!! Yay!

Well, the time has come for another blog installment.

I have just left about 4 comments on Zosh's blog. She has been very popular - James left about 4 comments too. Bec now has to leave another one, as she has only done 3!! Hers aren't as long as mine & James' either.

Well, yesterday, I had my needs' assessment...I should be getting a new computer, one that reads to me, & has a big screen, so that I can actually see what I'm typing - unlike now!!! & a scanner, & a printer, & an allowance for yellow paper! yay! And that's among other stuff.

I'm slightly worried because my eyesight is getting worse - now, even with my glasses, I don't see too well... Ah well, in abot 6 or 7 weeks, I should have an appointment with a clever eye guy in Oxford!

I went to the Leeds CU when I was in Leeds (surprising that I was in Leeds when I went to the Leeds CU, isn't it?!); it was very CUish. They were all sharing touching little stories about them, so I shared a less touching one about me. It made them all sit down...Ah well...the influence I have!!!

I have an essay deadline tomorrow. I guess I should go & write it.

Well, I said that I'd be a better blogger, and then my internet broke. That left me with no way to check my emails, or blog because only MY computer gets big writing on it.

I now don't know what the DJ has said in about the past 4 days, since while the internet was dead, the webmaster decided to steal my whole inbox, because it was too big. So, I can't get it back until the 13th of March. Not helpful.

tonight was cool, but Karen wasn't there! SHOCKING!!!! It was fun tho!

I'm going to Cyprus in 3 weeks. I'm going from the 29th of March until the 21st of April.

I have lots of letters to write. I'm also very tired today. I might go to bed now.

Well, I've been having some scarily intimidating emails from the dj we booked & cancelled for the CathSoc formal, but I think it's just because he knows he can't win. Now he's turned it into a personal vendetta and is threatening to take ME to court - not CathSoc, but ME!!!!!!! I told him he has little chance of winning if he does. For a start, it will cost him more to try to take me to court than he will get if he wins. I wish he would get it through his thick skull that I am a student, and so live on borrowed money, and have no assets. Any way, if he did try, I could probably get a lot of bad publicity in local press! :-) We'll see how much he likes that one.

I have a cold. I keep sneezing. I also had a really hard counselling session today - used about half a box of tissues! It's not good. Karen has promised that I will be cheered up tonight though!!! :-)

On Friday, I am going to Leeds. Looking forward to it sooooooo much!!!!! It's v exciting! Not coming back til Monday, but think I will have to talk nicely to Virgin, as I have to be somewhere on Monday evening rather than Tuesday, so I will have to get an earlier train back!!! GRR